Under my present condition
If there is one thing that can make me sob like a baby it is failing an exam or thinking I am going to fail or not understanding something. You get the drift.
So today just had my mock, no indication whatsoever as to whether I passed or fail but I think I failed. Pass mark is 50 percent but trust me I am not an olodo, the exams are tough and 50 is not easy to get! I can’t help but feeL incompetent. Trust me I have studied, maybe not excessively but what worries me the most is the fact that 8 times out of 10, the information I forget to include I know the information I just didn’t think it was relevant. ALso the exam is time pressured even though it is for 3hours! Even to go to the toilet sef you wiLl ask yourself if you are mad but you have to eat properly because it drains everything you!
It also like any exam takes judgement to decide on what to and not to write in the limited time available except you can think and write fast. Another problem I face is that sometimes I have to choose between A or B and then based on what I choose apply the necessary conditions. I know the conditions for both but if I pick the wrong one, who cares what I know? To make matters worse i am bored of studying and have reached a stage where I just want to go home and by home l don’t mean Reading or London, I mean NIGERIA.
But I know I am here for a reason. Against all odds, God placed me here and for that reason I am waiting on him to help me with this (amongst other things) and I will keep working hard and do my bit. I have no idea what or how to feel. I have 4 or 5 days left. Yes I know time to study but my mind is not in it again. I just need some pure prayers! The results are out in January which is agesssss away! Which is also annoying because I will have the thought of whether or not I passed gnawing at me, especially over christmas and did I mention that at work they send an email to everyone in the office to let them know whether you passed or failed!?!
My job also depends on it. If I fail an exam twice I am jobless! May it not come to that! I don’t even want to resit! To be fair its not all complaints. I am learning interesting things and improving but I just hope and pray I pass when it matters and is necessary!
I am not happy
I want to pass
I want to go home
I want to eat
I want a pay rise
But most importantly I just need God right now!
He did my last 9 exams, he can do the remaining 5!
Back to class and to eat my comfort food.. Snickers!
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