Angelsbeauty's Blog

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Emotions in a coconut shell

Why coconut shell and not a nut shell? Well because I think a nut shell is too small to contain my emotions.

Naturally (or not) I am a bubbly person. I am always on a high. But the flip side of this high is when the lows come, they can be quite low, no matter how short the period I am low lasts for. I think I have sunk into that low place in the last 30 minutes.

Firstly, I decide to go to bed and sleep it away but I realise I can not go to bed because my eyes are heavy and it is time to cry. But the problem is I cannot cry. I am in a limbo here. I have thought about so many sad things but the tears are just staying put and not pouring out of my eyes thus making me uncomfortable and unable to sleep.

My question now is why do I feel like crying out of the blue? This is not the first time it has happened. In the past I found solace in the fact that after crying I felt better, even if there was no reason to cry in the first place. I must say this usually happens to me at night and when I am alone, lol its not like I just feel like crying randomly during the day while I am out or something, its usually when I am by myself and no I am not lonely. Today seems to be different because I never had issues crying. The tears just fall freely after which I laugh and its all good again (like I said a few blogs back, I am not normal). Today, these tears are holding up and disturbing my well cherished sleep it is not funny at all.

Its also prompting me to think about different things and situations I don’t exactly want to think about. Some issues I need to resolve and some things I need to get over and o yea things I need to do and how busy tomorrow is going to be.

My friend suggested I listen to slow songs and they will make me cry and that is what she does. I guess I am happy I am not the only one that has these moments. Problem here is slow songs are not working o. Lol I am nearly tempted to put pepper in my eyes and give myself something to cry about. Okay that is extreme.

I need to put my emotions in check. I mean I know I can’t be happy all the time but the fact that I am down before I realise the reason isn’t cool. My over analyzing brain is always on over drive which doesn’t help matters. At least now I know that it is an issue. I over analyze every little thing! I mean even up to where I will hide IF my flat gets broken into while I am in it. I am one of those people that before I do anything I know the possible outcomes and what the next plan of action will be. Even up to the emotion I would have and sometimes what I would like to be wearing on the day or the time it happens. I need a cure to over analyzing. Any suggestions?

Writing this blog now might have taken me a step closer to what triggers these episodes. At the moment I am thinking it is due to stress. Got an awful lot on my mind and I am not looking forward to my day tomorrow. I guess the next time I write a blog relating to my emotions I have to make a mental note to remember to check to see whether or not I am stressed at that point in time.

I guess its just hard for me to realise it is not all laughs and smiles in my world. I wish it was though. I am going to try going back to bed now. Goodnight xxx

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11 thoughts on “Emotions in a coconut shell

  1. Sheila on said:

    oh is normal to cry sometimes we may be going thru a lot and we just want to cry…or if u are like me sometimes and miss when i didn’t have to worry about work, exams, marriage and i just cry…for like 2 mins then i’m back to my workaholic self and life…lol

    I’m an over analyser as well so i can’t help u in that aspect but i am learning to just let go and not think too much…but then maybe we aren’t over analysing, we just plan ahead, we know how to brace ourselves in case something happens…i mean the worst that can happen is that what we planned for didn’t happen but if it does we are prepared

    *yikes* am i over analyzing this too?

    • I miss those days too… the days when you just go for classes and do whatever you want with the rest of your time. I used to say i was planning ahead as well.. and preparing myself for the worst, but I have concluded I am an over analyser. lol @ am i over analysing this too, that made me laugh. lol xx

  2. It took me a while to recognise that I got extra-emotional towards the end of the month
    Yes, I do get PMT – badly
    However, the beginning of the year is also a very emotional time as one ‘thuds’ back to earth (after the festivities of Xmas and the hope around New Year)
    Cry if you want to!

    • πŸ™‚ thank you! i am glad to know it is not just me. it might just be like you said thudding back to earth after a great holiday lol. I am looking forward to booking my next holiday.

  3. Beautiful on said:

    loool…as someone who had a “hearty” cry yesterday for hours, it sure makes you feel better. make sure the tears come out of your eyes o…they have to, then when you finish, ask yourself why u bothered to cry. it actually relieves stress but sometimes, doing something else e.g listening to music, writing, talking to someone, playing a game…wateva actually ends up having the same effect so y give yourself a headache like i did yesterday. oya don’t cry ok?

    As for overanalyzing…looolll….i know the expression i’ll have on my face and the words i’ll say to break the news to my husband that i’m pregnant (mind you, i don’t see myself getting married in atleast another 4 years). i also know what i’ll wear for my masters graduation which is in december…dats 11 months time and how i’ll walk to the stage and the first thing i’ll say to my mum after. there’s nothing i don’t think of. the one of where to hide if my apartment is burgled is a constant one and PLENTY other things. u’re not the only one k? haha, i believe in “i’m normal as long as I tell no one the weird things I do” *wink*

    thanks for stopping by at my blog…the hug helped! mmuah!

    • you are right… lol, I am one step closer to finding a working cure. Thank you for stopping by. And as for my comment on your blog, anytime… if I can help in anyway in terms of pointers or anything, esp relating to accounting / tax accounting, feel free to msg me.

      • Beautiful on said:

        mmuah! thanks dear. hmmm actually my dissertation is on “Competitive Intelligence”…i’m thinking of using Nigeria as a case study. do you have any idea whatsoever? (yh yh i know dis isn’t accounting but tot to ask all the same). tnx swts!

      • Hmmm competitive intelligence, I’ll have to get bacou on that one. X

  4. Its ok to cry once in a while, I cry when am overwhelmed. Just like you, i feel a lot better afterwards. I am a secret cryer though! I like to present a harder exterior to the world, Lol. I guess my secret is out now, LOL.

  5. Crying is indeed therapeutic… let it out dear whenever the mood comes…take care huh?

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