My solo tub of icecream
I have been quiet for a while. I haven’t even had time to read your blogs, I apologize. Work has been mental, that’s just the best way to put it. Plus trying to use my free time these days to sort out my appraisal.
In the midst of all of the busyness and craziness, I have decided to share what has been on my mind of late with you.
Right now, I feel like eating a big tub of full fat ice-cream with all the trimmings, you know like chocolate chip, some fudge and caramel bits all mixed together. That is what I need right now for my pity food. I might be exaggerating a little and I must confess that its my over analysis that has brought me to this point.
I am currently asking myself what is wrong with me? I mean, why am I acting like its something worse than it is. The only thing bad about the situation is the fact that I let emotions go and I am over analyzing, making myself think there is a problem.
So what am I talking about? Simple answer to that questions is this, Man! I hear you kiss your teeth. I would too if I were reading this. Unfortunately for me, I like people too easily. When it comes to relationships and dating, I am very black or white.
I am not one of those people that have all these rules around things like let him do the calling, after the first date he must call you otherwise he isn’t interested or maybe even, act like you are busy when he calls, if you go on a 2/3 dates, for the next one say you are busy so he knows you are not sitting around waiting for him (but what if I am? :p). You get the gist. Basically, all of that to me is LONG.
Actual fact is I am a very busy lady! Lol I keep myself very busy, my weekends are always planned in advance. I actually make a habit of looking at my calendar in advance and then filling it up with visiting friends, planning outings etc. So far, my weekends in March are already occupied. April is blank at the moment because I have an exam in May. My point is, chances that I am sitting around and waiting for man are very slim. Even girls that are not as busy as I am, I am sure they are not really sitting around waiting, everyone has a life jare.
Call this oyinbo mentality, but I am a strong believer in if you are ‘feeling a boy’ let him know you are feeling him and vice versa for a guy. If he is feeling you back, he should let you know. That way if you both are not on the same page you can quickly find your square root. That’s not to say you start planning how many kids you want to have together on the first date. I just feel like dating should be a tad bit more transparent. This might not be very welcomed, afterall most people are acting on their first few dates, trying to impress and all. Its one of those cases you can’t really win.
I have had this discussion with some of my girlfriends and the usual conclusion is that the uncertainty makes dating more exciting. Well, I grudgingly agree with them but sometimes I just want to see the future and other times I love the excitement. Truth is I don’t want to be one of those people that wish their lives away only to find they have missed the interesting and important aspects of life with little memory left of those. Just because they kept focusing on something they couldn’t control instead of letting nature take its course and focusing on other pending matters.
So basically, where I am right now is just trying to assess what stage I am with a certain somebody. It doesn’t take a child to know that we are definitely more than friends but at the same time we aren’t an ‘item’. We are ‘getting to know each other’, or so I think. Taking it slow, or maybe its just my thinking. Sometimes its exciting not knowing what will happen next and other times it is plain frustrating and annoying.
I know the drill, trust me I have given my friends who were in my shoes lectures about what to do in this situation. Now that I am here, I can’t help myself. Patience is definitely one of the things I have learnt! Lol trust me, I am more patient now than I was december last year. I hope it lasts. I also know the whole ‘if a guy likes you, you’ll know’. I agree with you but, that is in an ‘ideal’ situation which unfortunately for me is not the case here lol. So I can only partially conclude.
Today is one of those days I wish my girlfriends were in town so we could sit with a tub of icecream and a good chic flick. As this is not the case and I don’t want to finish a tub myself, I shall have my virtual tub of icecream solo. To keep myself going I have been listening to music. My darlings, Musiq Soulchild, India Arie, Laura Izibor, Florence and the machine, the script and various nigerian artists have been keeping me going. There is this song by a lady called ‘omolara’ called ‘lover’. That’s my new favourite. I love the lyrics and rhythm, check it out.
Looking forward to reading your comments and opinions. Have a great weekend. xxx