I have been feeling like a weird and unique being this week for some odd reason, actually not just this week, I always feel weird.. not that it bothers me because I love me, but it is just a funny reminder. This blog may not really address this, but I am sure you will find this fact out as you read my blogs. I will let you come to your own conclusions.
On another note, I have been trying (you may have noticed) to pack a lot of fun into these last few weeks / days before I go to Edinburgh. On this occasion, I will be spending about 8/9 weeks in Edinburgh having classes and hardcore studying (with some blogging time personally incorporated into my timetable). So I just want to make sure I see my friends in London, spend quality time with DT, go out and do things I consider fun before I leave.
This week, one of the ladies from work organised this girlie cocktails and cinema night on Wednesday. It was actually a good evening, we had cocktails at All Bar One during their happy hour and then we headed across to the cinema to see Bad Teacher – featuring Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake, not to forget the witty Jason Segel (I am growing to like him more). It was actually a funny movie.. I enjoyed it and at some point, I found myself rooting for the bad teacher. I will say no more as I am sure some people haven’t seen it and may have plans to.
A trip to the theatre to see Jersey Boys was organised by the office and I got myself and DT tickets to see the show on Thursday. I got the coach from the office in Reading and seeing as DT lives in London, we just planned to meet at the front of the theatre for about 7:15pm. As usual, I was there with my plenty luggage. My weekend bag, a bag with my work laptop and my handbag. (If any one can suggest ways of compressing my weekend luggage, I will be truly thankful). So there was my dashing boo, in front of the theatre, looking great as usual without any luggage or bags as men manage to get away with. We hugged, quick kiss and entered the theatre and then he looks at everything I was carrying and says “please can I carry one of your bags for you” – meaning, hand me over your weekend bag and don’t say no. I happily shed my luggage and warned him it was heavy and then he goes – “is it not you? If it wasn’t heavy, I would have been surprised”. That’s so not a good look. If you see any early twenties lady on a friday night in central london carrying loads of stuff, that would be me!
Anyway, the show was simply amazing to say the least. I mean.. the story line was fabulous and easy to follow, the songs and the singing and the voices – simply amazing! The acting the accents etc.. we absolutely loved it and we had such a good time. There are some songs the band – Frankie Valli and the four seasons sang that I know and love but I did not know they were the ones that sang it. For example, can’t take my eyes off you, I have tried to embed the song below, listen to it if you wish.
We concluded that we would happily watch it again. In particular, I loved Frankie Valli’s character and his loyalty to the band. I will let you watch it for yourself and draw you own conclusions, but I definitely recommend it. I will give it a 9/10.
When it comes to relationships and what to some extent society expects a boyfriend to do for his girlfriend, I don’t necessarily conform. I think it is all those years of being single, or being in a long distance relationship that has evolved my independence. When we are hanging out or going out, right from our first date, DT always picks me up. To some people it might be an expectation especially if your boyfriend drives. But for me, my over analytic independence kicks in. I keep saying to myself, if he wasn’t in my life, wouldn’t I walk, or get the bus or train, why should that change now? I can’t explain what I mean well enough but hopefully you will get more of an understanding as we go on. Maybe I just need to get used to it. So for example, my uncle’s house in Croydon is about a 15 minutes bus ride to DT’s. If for example we are meant to hang out at his and I am at home. In my head I am thinking, okay I can catch the bus and be at his in 20 minutes tops, but Mr DT will rather pick me up. In situations where I have managed to convince him to let me come to his, when I get to his area, he will still drive down to the junction or station to pick me up. It is nice, it is lovely yea I know, but it spoils me as well. I don’t want to get used to it.. plus my over analytic mind tries to be fair and reasonable and not expect him to pick me up or drop me off especially when he is tired, but I still struggle to convince him.
So with this mentality in mind, when we got to London Bridge station I just assumed he was going straight home and I was going straight home as well, especially as he had to be at work for 8:30am, I was not going to work on Friday and it was already nearly 11pm. The train that goes directly to his station was on platform 10 and my train on platform 9. As we walked along the platform, I asked for my weekend bag and was ready to give him a hug. He then looks at me and tells me we were going to my station together to then catch a fast train to his, then walk to his house together, pick up his car and then he will drop me home. That did I expect him to let me go home alone at this time. To me, if he had let me go home alone, I honestly wouldn’t have thought much of it, because I was just being practical. Of course all of this meant he probably didn’t get home till about midnight and then we spoke on the phone after he got home again, but this was just to make sure we were cool. Little secret, we had a disagreement on the train.
I’ve known DT personally for about 6 month’s now, we have been ‘officially’ dating 3 months. We have had like squabbles here and there, mostly over the phone. We have a disagreement, we keep quiet for 2/3 minutes, someone breaks the silence, someone apologizes, the other person does the same and then we keep chatting. I believe natural disagreements or arguments are healthy in relationships, because it means you are both being real, and it helps you identify boundaries and learn more about the other person’s point of view. I remember when we started dating.. I felt like wow.. okay I really like this man.. but I wonder how we will handle disagreements and stuff and what it will do to us.. once again over analysing.. thinking about our first fight even before we had been dating 1 week!
So, on the train back to London, I reminded him of something we had to do, key word here REMINDED meaning we have had the conversation before, we both knew what we were doing and I was just saying hey don’t forget. Then he started talking like we did not come to a conclusion earlier, and my first instinct was to keep quiet, because, one, it was not really a big deal and two, I would rather have that conversation in the car or when we got to his but not on the train. Anyway, my silence I think didn’t sit well with him and at the same time I did not want to come across as rude and just ignore him so I had to say something. So I said my point of view, he said his. I was clearly upset and he knew this. So we got to his station, and we walked to his house in silence for the first like 2 minutes or so but it felt like 10 minutes. Eventually, he put his arms around me and drew me closer to him as we walked and I put my hands on his back as well. Then we started talking about something else. We got to his, got into the car and then he dropped me off. I still felt like we needed to talk that night just to ease the tension so I contemplated calling, because I didn’t want to be selfish keeping him on the phone as he had work the next day and I didn’t so I didn’t call, once again, over analysing. As I made this decision not to call him, my phone rings and I had an automatic smile on my face, it was my darling. I pick it up and he goes “are you still fighting with me?” So I said no, but our conversation upset me, but we needed to have it so it is fine. He apologizes and we talked into the night. I am very aware that this is probably nothing compared to what we will face in future, but I pray God gives us the grace to handle each situation as they arise and help us grow together.
Although I had Friday off, I ended up working for most of the day anyway due to various deadlines. DT calls during his break and asked if I would like to watch him play tennis later in the evening. Now to give you some background, I have been wanting to watch him play tennis for a while, but he usually plays during the week and I am always in Reading, but yesterday was the ideal opportunity. Why I was excited I have no idea but I was. Anyway, my excitement came crashing down when it started to rain and his tennis partner couldn’t play any more because his wife was on call and he had to stay with his kids. It was fine still because we just ended up chilling at his. This was when I found that nothing can distract DT from a game of tennis, especially with Andrew Murray playing! I probably know more about tennis now than I have ever before. I remember the first time I watched it with him, I cheered for the wrong person, it was so funny. I am much better now though. The game was going on for a bit too long so I brought out my book – the girl who played with fire by steig larsson (which is amazing by the way, I recommend the trilogy) to start reading and then he started tickling me to try to get me to watch the tennis. All in all it was a great evening. I came back home with a huge smile on my face. I just knew one thing for sure… I am blessed and I am happy and in a good place right now and so I am going to enjoy it, cherish it and love every single second of it.
Now to end this on a depressing note… i have never felt threatened about my job before but of recent I have been feeling, let’s say a bit threatened. I feel like someone is trying to take over one of my little niches and she isn’t even playing it friendly. She is just going BANG on about it. But am I going to fight? Hell no… not now, maybe she too felt threatened like I was taking over her territory. The truth is there is enough room for two because this so-called niche has 2 sections, she does one, I do the other, but NOPE, she wants it all. I don’t have time to fight o. After all I am back to business school in 21 days so she can carry on doing what I can’t do in my absence anyway and when I get back, we’ll see what can be done then if anything. I also strongly believe that what is mine will not pass me by because so many things in life, including my job, my boyfriend, my qualifications, I have tried not to go for, saying it is not for me, but one way or the other, God has made me understand that the things, situations, job and person I thought was not for me was in actual fact his plan for me. In the same way, I know if this is for me, he will help me understand and show me a way to trump this situation. But for now, I will let her go about fighting tooth and nail to take what was originally mine, in the process freeing up my time for me to go after what I really want, the cookie jar.. hehehe. I guess I am just so amazed and surprised each time she does something I plan to do without consulting me, but hey.. different strokes. I need to pray concerning my job to get peace that I shouldn’t fight this battle – because like they say, too many spoons spoils the broth or whatever and for me to blog a paragraph about it, I must be truly amazed!
To end it all… I love God, my family, my boo, my friends, my job and those reading this – AGAPE :p lol I am filled with cheese mehn.. I better stop typing now!