Angelsbeauty's Blog

…. what's next on my random mind?….

Archive for the month “June, 2011”

Embarrassed much?

I am aware the picture in my last blog too was a monkey.. lol, they are cute though :p

Hi People!!!!

My weekend officially begins today!!! Okay not really, I am working from home tomorrow morning and I have tomorrow afternoon off to go and get my hair done (yes I took time off work to go to the salon, don’t judge me!). I have a wedding on Saturday, my cousins, and I can’t be looking like a dishevelled walrus on the day (yes I am aware walrus do not have hair, well I don’t have a lot either… I plan on erm.. acquiring some on my way to the salon though). My point is, it is important to look clean, fresh and well-kept – Amen to that.

So, I pride myself as being someone who hardly ever gets embarrassed, I am one of the people Yorubas say this to – oju o kin ti e. That is, you are never ashamed. Well, today was to put an end to that phrase. I was overly ashamed to say the least! Now, what I am about to share with you stays here and goes nowhere else – deal? I will assume you said DEAL!

Here we go….

This morning, I woke up late, had 20 minutes to shower get dressed and walk 7 minutes to catch my bus. As I was hurrying up and rushing around, I forgot to use something erm.. let’s just say something essential. This essential thing is known to most people as a deodorant. So I get to the office, and remembered the mistake I had made and thought to myself – Shoot!!  I was talking to my friend Bels on the office messenger and I told her my predicament. What did Bels do, she laughed!

Now, the office is an open plan office and is located in the middle of nowhere, right by the motor way, so to go to the shops, I will have to walk via the motor way which I was not too keen on doing. I remembered Bels planned to go to the shopping complex during lunch so I asked her if I could come with her so I could pop into Boots and undo my silly oversight.

To my surprise, Bels gave me a resounding NO! I thought to myself, hmm this is unusual, she only says no to me when I ask her to go with her to NEXT, because I spend forever trying on the shoes, doing a mini fashion parade in them and buying nothing! So while I was trying to figure out why she said no, I see her walking towards my desk, the whole 30 yards or so. She was walking like she had a mission and in the process drew people’s attention to my desk. Next thing I know, she slams a new bottle of Nivea roll-on on my desk. I just wanted to disappear!!! I then nervously looked around to see if anyone saw. Of course they saw! A senior manager behind me was wrying his neck to try to see what she dropped n my desk, the senior manager beside me walked over to myself to see what made me gasp and the lady behind me too. Oh lawd!!! Extremely embarrassing, well we all laughed about it. I simply put it in my bag, walked to the toilet and used it. The funny thing about the whole thing is, after she gave it to me, she walked back to her desk, but she didnt realise that other people saw and were laughing at me! I had to communicate this to her via the office messenger. Thanks Bels, but I will get you back!!!!! I promise 🙂

Do you guys have any embarrassing moments you will like to share??

 

On a separate note, I had a client with a June year-end, which meant it had to be submitted to HMRC at the latest today, but with the whole new online filing palava, lets just say that deadline was nearly missed but hey.. it was submitted on time, one less client to worry about for a few months, happy days!

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Hmmmmmmmmm……….

Soo.. I have been very thoughtful these past few days, especially today. Usually, there is a thought process or a constant theme running through my head. This time, it seems to be all over the place and as I begin to place a finger on what I am thoughtful about, it disappears again. I will try to keep track of it as it carries on. I guess it is good thoughtful as I am not sad, or in a mood, but just in a normal state for once in my life… hmmmm interesting.

Well that is why I decided to blog it.. maybe it will help me realise the subject of my thoughtful state.

Blog-athon and work update

Mehn my friends, I have just been blog surfing this weekend, I am not even lying! To be precise, on Saturday, I was on my couch from 1pm til about 10:30pm when DT drove by my uncle’s house on his way home and all i have done is read blogs, follow new blogs. When he asked me what I had been up to, that was when I realised I actually hadn’t done anything other than read blogs! I had to explain the whole process to him, why I write, and how people actually do blog and how I learn from other’s experiences. I think that’s enough lesson for him for now.

During my weekend blog rendezvous, a friend introduced me to this blog that is quite seasonal for me at the moment as it is mostly about a lady and her relationship with her boyfriend who eventually became her husband, so in essence, a blog about their relationship. I started reading from her very first post in 2009 on Saturday and I finally caught up today! I feel like I have been on a journey. I think it is very well documented and if anyone is interested, check it out on till my dying day. I have already seen some of Naija mum’s comments there ;).  It is about relationships and marriage etc check it out here . I just love that she writes so openly about her experiences and truthfully, about the ups and downs and I am sure a few people have been where she is. Absolutely love it. Reading you guy’s blogs gets me thinking about various things in my life, it’s quite interesting how you can learn from people you have not met.

So it is Monday night, I must say I was dreading today because I had so much work to do at work and I wasn’t sure I would be able to get it all done. Luckily, we have a new trainee who started today, so I have been able to reduce my client portfolio by 2! That’s as good as it gets, but my senior manager says I should keep an eye on my work load and let her know if it gets too much. It’s funny how everyone in the office knows I am always busy. I don’t know if that is a good look or not. People say it shows I am good at what I do so most people what me in their client team, but at the same time, doesn’t that show I am unable to manage my work load to some extent? Or maybe even unable to delegate? On the delegating front, up until recently, I have been pretty much the most junior staff in the office (1 of 4 of us).

I have been quite interested in doing a secondment for a while now – i.e. work in a different department other than corporate tax for a few months, just for the experience. The issue there is, I want to either second in mergers and acquisition tax, transfer pricing or corporate finance. I will also consider restructuring and audit (if I must!). However, not a lot of these have been advertised of recent. The other day, an email got sent round asking if anyone wanted to second to transfer pricing, I registered my interest and then a manager and senior manager came to speak to me to explain why I didn’t get it. They said they don’t want to lose me and transfer pricing is looking for someone permanent and they don’t want me to go permanent there (well, I don’t want to go permanent there either), the second reason was because the person who got, it was perfect timing for them, etc etc.

No as flattering as it sounds that they do not want to lose me, when I take a step back to look at things, it makes me feel valued, yes, but at the same time.. I feel like erm… I can’t let them use that excuse ongoing-ly.. I mean, I want them to keep feeling like they do not want to lose me, which in turn means that I need to keep updating my skills. My senior manager explained that I have about 4 years to do the compulsory secondment, meaning I have time – but I don’t want to wait that long. Now the second issue is this, we get an email saying who was seconding where and for how long. I read the email to the end only to see another lady got a secondment in M+A! I nearly screamed at my laptop. First thing I did was text DT with a long text ranting about how I really wanted this and how upset I was that it has passed me by etc etc.. and then he replies with calm down you’ll be just fine!

*sigh* so calm down I did and fine I was – because once again, I realised I was off to Edinburgh in a couple of weeks, meaning there was no way I could have done a 3 months secondment before I left and one of the reasons she is able to do the secondment is because unfortunately she failed an exam which means she is set back about 6 months and doesn’t go to Edinburgh the same time I do. So I thought about all of this and I felt slightly better, but however, I knew I had to let someone know I really want this secondment.

I didn’t realise I was silently beefing the M+A senior manager until I saw him a few days ago (he sits 2 desks away from me, he is really cool). I then looked at him and I thought I smiled at him, apparently, it was a cold stare! So he asked me what he has done wrong that I am looking at him like that, I told him I had a beef to pick with him – lol no idea why I said that! I sha went on the office internal messenger and sent him a message saying I really wanted to do M+A tax etc etc and then he explained that he was told i was BUSY! Imagine! I explained to him that yes I am busy but I will be happy to redistribute my work load, so we have an agreement that when I am back from business school, we’ll do some work together. I am going to have to reminder him and make sure it happens sha.

So you see why I am saying why maybe being busy is not that good after all!

Meanwhile.. in my office we have gone paperless, like storing everything electronically, however, if you see my desk ehn… it is a huge paper mess.. i just haven’t had time. BUT it is on my to do list 🙂

With that I say gooood night xxx

Maxing out the fun

I have been feeling like a weird and unique being this week for some odd reason, actually not just this week, I always feel weird.. not that it bothers me because I love me, but it is just a funny reminder. This blog may not really address this, but I am sure you will find this fact out as you read my blogs. I will let you come to your own conclusions.

On another note, I have been trying (you may have noticed) to pack a lot of fun into these last few weeks / days before I go to Edinburgh. On this occasion, I will be spending about 8/9 weeks in Edinburgh having classes and hardcore studying (with some blogging time personally incorporated into my timetable). So I just want to make sure I see my friends in London, spend quality time with DT, go out and do things I consider fun before I leave.

This week, one of the ladies from work organised this girlie cocktails and cinema night on Wednesday. It was actually a good evening, we had cocktails at All Bar One during their happy hour and then we headed across to the cinema to see Bad Teacher – featuring Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake, not to forget the witty Jason Segel (I am growing to like him more). It was actually a funny movie.. I enjoyed it and at some point, I found myself rooting for the bad teacher. I will say no more as I am sure some people haven’t seen it and may have plans to.

A trip to the theatre to see Jersey Boys was organised by the office and I got myself and DT tickets to see the show on Thursday. I got the coach from the office in Reading and seeing as DT lives in London, we just planned to meet at the front of the theatre for about 7:15pm. As usual, I was there with my plenty luggage. My weekend bag, a bag with my work laptop and my handbag. (If any one can suggest ways of compressing my weekend luggage, I will be truly thankful). So there was my dashing boo, in front of the theatre, looking great as usual without any luggage or bags as men manage to get away with. We hugged, quick kiss and entered the theatre and then he looks at everything I was carrying and says “please can I carry one of your bags for you” – meaning, hand me over your weekend bag and don’t say no. I happily shed my luggage and warned him it was heavy and then he goes – “is it not you? If it wasn’t heavy, I would have been surprised”.  That’s so not a good look. If you see any early twenties lady on a friday night in central london carrying loads of stuff, that would be me!

Anyway, the show was simply amazing to say the least. I mean.. the story line was fabulous and easy to follow, the songs and the singing and the voices – simply amazing! The acting the accents etc.. we absolutely loved it and we had such a good time. There are some songs the band – Frankie Valli and the four seasons sang that I know and love but I did not know they were the ones that sang it. For example, can’t take my eyes off you, I have tried to embed the song below, listen to it if you wish.

We concluded that we would happily watch it again. In particular, I loved Frankie Valli’s character and his loyalty to the band. I will let you watch it for yourself and draw you own conclusions, but I definitely recommend it. I will give it a 9/10.

When it comes to relationships and what to some extent society expects a boyfriend to do for his girlfriend, I don’t necessarily conform. I think it is all those years of being single, or being in a long distance relationship that has evolved my independence. When we are hanging out or going out, right from our first date, DT always picks me up. To some people it might be an expectation especially if your boyfriend drives. But for me, my over analytic independence kicks in. I keep saying to myself, if he wasn’t in my life, wouldn’t I walk, or get the bus or train, why should that change now? I can’t explain what I mean well enough but hopefully you will get more of an understanding as we go on. Maybe I just need to get used to it. So for example, my uncle’s house in Croydon is about a 15 minutes bus ride to DT’s. If for example we are meant to hang out at his and I am at home. In my head I am thinking, okay I can catch the bus and be at his in 20 minutes tops, but Mr DT will rather pick me up. In situations where I have managed to convince him to let me come to his, when I get to his area, he will still drive down to the junction or station to pick me up. It is nice, it is lovely yea I know, but it spoils me as well. I don’t want to get used to it.. plus my over analytic mind tries to be fair and reasonable and not expect him to pick me up or drop me off  especially when he is tired, but I still struggle to convince him.

So with this mentality in mind, when we got to London Bridge station I just assumed he was going straight home and I was going straight home as well, especially as he had to be at work for 8:30am, I was not going to work on Friday and it was already nearly 11pm. The train that goes directly to his station was on platform 10 and my train on platform 9. As we walked along the platform, I asked for my weekend bag and was ready to give him a hug. He then looks at me and tells me we were going to my station together to then catch a fast train to his, then walk to his house together, pick up his car and then he will drop me home. That did I expect him to let me go home alone at this time. To me, if he had let me go home alone, I honestly wouldn’t have thought much of it, because I was just being practical. Of course all of this meant he probably didn’t get home till about midnight and then we spoke on the phone after he got home again, but this was just to make sure we were cool. Little secret, we had a disagreement on the train.

I’ve known DT personally for about 6 month’s now, we have been ‘officially’ dating 3 months. We have had like squabbles here and there, mostly over the phone. We have a disagreement, we keep quiet for 2/3 minutes, someone breaks the silence, someone apologizes, the other person does the same and then we keep chatting. I believe natural disagreements or arguments are healthy in relationships, because it means you are both being real, and it helps you identify boundaries and learn more about the other person’s point of view. I remember when we started dating.. I felt like wow.. okay I really like this man.. but I wonder how we will handle disagreements and stuff and what it will do to us.. once again over analysing.. thinking about our first fight even before we had been dating 1 week!

So, on the train back to London, I reminded him of something we had to do, key word here REMINDED meaning we have had the conversation before, we both knew what we were doing and I was just saying hey don’t forget. Then he started talking like we did not come to a conclusion earlier, and my first instinct was to keep quiet, because, one, it was not really a big deal and two, I would rather have that conversation in the car or when we got to his but not on the train. Anyway, my silence I think didn’t sit well with him and at the same time I did not want to come across as rude and just ignore him so I had to say something. So I said my point of view, he said his. I was clearly upset and he knew this. So we got to his station, and we walked to his house in silence for the first like 2 minutes or so but it felt like 10 minutes. Eventually, he put his arms around me and drew me closer to him as we walked and I put my hands on his back as well. Then we started talking about something else. We got to his, got into the car and then he dropped me off. I still felt like we needed to talk that night just to ease the tension so I contemplated calling, because I didn’t want to be selfish keeping him on the phone as he had work the next day and I didn’t so I didn’t call, once again, over analysing. As I made this decision not to call him, my phone rings and I had an automatic smile on my face, it was my darling. I pick it up and he goes “are you still fighting with me?” So I said no, but our conversation upset me, but we needed to have it so it is fine. He apologizes and we talked into the night. I am very aware that this is probably nothing compared to what we will face in future, but I pray God gives us the grace to handle each situation as they arise and help us grow together.

Although I had Friday off, I ended up working for most of the day anyway due to various deadlines. DT calls during his break and asked if I would like to watch him play tennis later in the evening. Now to give you some background, I have been wanting to watch him play tennis for a while, but he usually plays during the week and I am always in Reading, but yesterday was the ideal opportunity. Why I was excited I have no idea but I was. Anyway, my excitement came crashing down when it started to rain and his tennis partner couldn’t play any more because his wife was on call and he had to stay with his kids. It was fine still because we just ended up chilling at his. This was when I found that nothing can distract DT from a game of tennis, especially with Andrew Murray playing! I probably know more about tennis now than I have ever before. I remember the first time I watched it with him, I cheered for the wrong person, it was so funny. I am much better now though. The game was going on for a bit too long so I brought out my book – the girl who played with fire by steig larsson (which is amazing by the way, I recommend the trilogy) to start reading and then he started tickling me to try to get me to watch the tennis. All in all it was a great evening. I came back home with a huge smile on my face. I just knew one thing for sure… I am blessed and I am happy and in a good place right now and so I am going to enjoy it, cherish it and love every single second of it.

Now to end this on a depressing note… i have never felt threatened about my job before but of recent I have been feeling, let’s say a bit threatened. I feel like someone is trying to take over one of my little niches and she isn’t even playing it friendly. She is just going BANG on about it. But am I going to fight? Hell no… not now, maybe she too felt threatened like I was taking over her territory. The truth is there is enough room for two because this so-called niche has 2 sections, she does one, I do the other, but NOPE, she wants it all. I don’t have time to fight o. After all I am back to business school in 21 days so she can carry on doing what I can’t do in my absence anyway and when I get back, we’ll see what can be done then if anything. I also strongly believe that what is mine will not pass me by because so many things in life, including my job, my boyfriend, my qualifications, I have tried not to go for, saying it is not for me, but one way or the other, God has made me understand that the things, situations, job and person I thought was not for me was in actual fact his plan for me. In the same way, I know if this is for me, he will help me understand and show me a way to trump this situation. But for now, I will let her go about fighting tooth and nail to take what was originally mine, in the process freeing up my time for me to go after what I really want, the cookie jar.. hehehe. I guess I am just so amazed and surprised each time she does something I plan to do without consulting me, but hey.. different strokes. I need to pray concerning my job to get peace that I shouldn’t fight this battle – because like they say, too many spoons spoils the broth or whatever and for me to  blog a paragraph about it, I must be truly amazed!

To end it all… I love God, my family, my boo, my friends, my job and those reading this – AGAPE :p lol I am filled with cheese mehn.. I better stop typing now!

What have I been up to?

Hi lovely people!!!

For those in London / Reading, I hope you are enjoying the rain. I have decided there is no point hating the weather because you will just end up spending majority of your time hating.. lol

So… a few blogs ago, I asked you guys what the best way to break the DT situation to my dad.. let’s just say my dad now knows.. and they shall be meeting each other fairly soon. It should be an interesting one, as neither of us have done this before; I have never introduced a guy to my dad before, DT has never met a datee’s  father and my father has never met any of his children’s other half. Well, in due course, I will give you all the low down. I just hope it goes well.. to be honest my dad took it a lot better than I thought. He was actually very conversational about it. I guess I should give him more benefit of doubt in future. A few of you might wonder – what is the rush? To answer that question, there is no rush, my logic simply is – one way or the other a few of my aunts found out about DT, don’t ask me how, walls have ears I suppose. The only people I told officially were my mum and her best friend who initially told me about him. My aunt and uncle put two and two together when they kept meeting him and he kept picking me up. How the other’s found out.. lol no idea. Now, my dad had been left out of all of this because I didn’t think I was ready to tell him plus we are just a few months in, but I have a strong feeling this is.. like they say when you know you know… the rest na prayer. Also, I kept thinking, one day one of my aunts or uncle will mistakenly tell my dad then he will feel left out and wonder why I did not tell him so I decided to just let it out of the bag, at least he heard from me. Whether they meet on this visit or on his next.. he sha knows about him, that’s all that matters for now.

So what have I been up to? Not much to be honest. Last week was work as usual and busy too. I guess the highlight of my week was going to Thorpe Park with my colleagues from work. We took a half day and drove down to Thorpe Park. It was so much fun to say the least. One of the senior managers was our daddy  for the day. 2/3days before we were due to go, he took it upon himself to print out a map of the park and mark a route of rides we will go on before we did anything else as we had about 4 and a half hours before the park closed.

I must say this plan worked out effectively. There were about 15 of us. We went on Stealth, Nemesis, Colossus, Saw the ride, detonator and then I requested specially to go on the banana boat, because it excites me and makes me laugh and squeal. One of my colleagues was a bit scared of all the rides, but I kept hyping her up and telling her it was not a big deal and I sat next to her most of the time. I remember on Colossus, it was quite funny, because we got to this part of the ride, I turned to her and went ‘Uh ho, I forgot to tell you about this part’. It was so funny, because she was like, great, thank you and started screaming. We all had fun though. I hope we do it again sometime.

After Thorpe Park on Wednesday, the week pretty much ended as far as I am concerned sha. On Saturday, I had this singles seminar in my friends church I wanted to attend. So I invited two of my other friends. I was waiting on the platform for trains to London from Reading when I saw the lady sobbing frantically with 2 huge suitcases and 3 smaller weekend bags around her. My first instinct was urging me to go and talk to her, and then I thought, wo it is too early for ela jare, let me just mind my business. However, she was sobbing so much that I had to ask her what the problem was. So I walked towards her and kept my distance just incase she wasn’t interested in a conversation so I wouldn’t be too embarrassed and I can just carrying on about my business waiting for the train.

Anyway, I walk up to her asking her if she was okay (although I could clearly see she wasn’t). She smiled, a bit embarrassed and she said it wasn’t anything major really, but that she is an ERASMUS student (.i.e. an exchange student from Europe) and she has come to the conclusion of her year in the UK and was now on her way back to Paris. She has just left her boyfriend who was also on the ERASMUS programme but from Belgium and she feels like all of her life in a year were in her luggage in front of her and she is so emotional because she had such a good time and in as much as she doesn’t want to leave the UK she is looking forward to going back to Paris.

Anyway, I realised that as we kept talking, she stopped crying, so I stayed with her and kept her company and we kept chatting. I helped her with her luggage onto the train and we kept chatting till we got to Paddington. As I was wheeling her luggage for her, I made sure I stood close enough to her so it will not be as if I was carrying her load away. So we get to the black cab rank and there were two ladies in front of us. For some reason, the taxi driver did not pick them up and kept pointing at me. i was wondering why. As soon as I saw the man, I knew he was Nigerian and the ankara dress I was wearing must have given me away. So seeing as he was trying to give me preferential treatment, I didn’t even tell him I wasn’;t travelling, I loaded the girls luggage into the taxi shut the door and waved bother her and the driver good-bye. The look in the driver’s eyes was priceless, I couldn’t help but laugh and carry on to my friend’s church for the seminar.

The seminar was insightful, there was this lady that got married at the age of 45 for the first time and she was talking about her experience and so on, unfortunately, I got there late so missed the bulk of her experience but my friend gave me the down low.. very insightful. This is the first time that I have gone for a relationship seminar and left without feeling like I have to break up with some body or something had to change in my relationship. I will talk about myself and Dt’s relationship in some more detail in a different blog. I love attending relationship seminars, especially the ones in church. I have enjoyed them both when I was single and in a relationship, it just keeps things in check for me. I find that my spirit gets convicted when I go to them and gives me the courage to address certain issues that are not exactly right for me in the relationship.

Back to this week…

This blog is getting a bit long so – that’s what I get for not blogging in over a week. To be continued..

The first dance et al.

hehehe… I have attempted to share my weekend with you guys below. I must inform you before hand that you may find it a bit too cheesy or mushy for your liking, so read ahead at your own choice. Enjoy.. xxx
 
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I have heard so much about how powerful words are but I have not been able to appreciate it well enough until you came into my life. I have come to learn and appreciate that you are never in a haste to use words. You value your words and ensure that you mean what you are about to say, making it easier for me to trust you and believe you are a man of your words. At the same time, it helps towards my path to become a more patient person, although it can be a bit frustrating in my impatience.You pick your words with great control and precision; and you release them at the most appropriate of times. Pleasantly surprising me even when you do not intend to, because of your invaluable skill with words that you have come to develop; the timing and delivery you have learnt to perfect over time. You make sentences sound a lot more exciting than they actually are.

What I love the most about you is a series of things, all of which I cannot express justifiably. To list some, your selflessness, your belief in my goals and dreams, your ability to make my plans your plans, so much so that you see my exams as your exams. Your ability to sense my moods and have the right words to say at the right time, making it twice as effective. Your maturity to tell me the truth when I need to hear it and not just utter sweet nothings into my ears just to fan my ego. The fact that you do not treat me differently in separate circumstances. You show me as much love and care in private as you do in public, whether we are amongst friends or not.

Many times I feel like you’ve got me or my flat bugged and can hear every conversation I have because each time I talk about something relating to us or something I would like us to do more of, within a week you do just that. Ofcourse in all of this, I wonder, am I as good to you as you are to me? Do I show you as much love as you do me? Do I make you as happy as you make me? 

I remember when you said you felt like you hadn’t seen me in a month, when it had only being 11 days. Only I felt worse, for me it felt longer than a month; but that feeling was quickly replaced by the joy and happiness of being next to you, being able to look to my right and see you driving next to me. Being able to hear your voice and listen to you sing as you drive like you love to do while I laughed away teasing your singing voice and joining you when I am able to stop myself from laughing. That feeling, my dear is priceless.

I remember how your left hand found mine on my lap and the feeling of your relatively warm palm engulfed in mine; I couldn’t stop holding on to it, wishing we will never reach our destination so I could remain seated beside you and never have to let go of your hand. The responsible part of me could not but constantly remind you to let me know when you needed both hands to drive, but silently I hoped each time you won’t have to take it away from me. Thankfully you were able to manoeuvre your way around the busy roads of London safely with your right hand majority of the time.

I was already satisfied with this feeling but little did I know that you were just about to enhance it. Our destination was your class mate’s wedding after party. Like a gentleman you introduced me to your friends, who I must say are very lovely, after which we proceeded to sit down. That was when you asked me to do something I never thought I would hear you ask.

To give you a bit of insight, Last week, when I was discussing the dancing that happened during the wedding I attended recently and how I loved it; but it reminded me that you said you couldn’t dance. What you said once again would mean nothing but mere words to the masses; but to me, it meant a whole lot more than words. You said unfortunately there isn’t much you could do about your dancing skills but you hope you will make up for it in other ways. I assured you that was not a problem, after all it is only dancing. 

That was why I was surprised when you asked me to dance with you on the dance floor at the party. I was convinced you were joking and remained seated. But you asked again and this time I wondered if I would be pleasantly surprised or hugely embarrassed by your moves. I was too excited at the prospects of our first dance together to let the thought of the latter materialise.

So I followed you to the dance floor and after the first few warm-up swinging of the hips, the dancing started. I was pleasantly surprised. Honey you are not the best dancer in the world, but you complement my moves and I yours; what more could I ask for? As the Nigerian music played in the background, from D’banj’s ‘make me fall in love’ to Dr Sid’s ‘something about you’ you made me feel special. No one on earth has ever made me feel like you did that night. I felt like the luckiest girl in the room. I forced myself to keep my eyes opened, because I knew if I shut my eyes for just one moment, I would believe it was my day; we can’t have that now can we?

After an hour or so, you decided you needed a break so we headed off the dance floor. The DJ changed the song to Wande Coal’s ‘kiss your hand’ remix and then you decided the break could wait and we had to dance again. That worked for me because I love to dance. I will dance with you over and over and over again if time permitted.

Unfortunately, the night had to end and you dropped me off home, with plans to hang out the next day. You picked me up the next afternoon. You were making dinner for your friends at yours. I was excited because it meant I finally get to taste your cooking I have heard so much about. You did not want me to lift a finger and asked me to sit and chat with you while you cooked instead. I could not sit and watch you do all the hard work so we compromised, I did the chopping of the ingredients and the cleaning up while you did the cooking. You did not fail to remind me that you asked me to sit and watch whiled you cooked and I said no; you said you will remind me of this day in the future which made me smile. Although at the end of it all, you had to admit it worked perfectly.

Lunch was served and on tasting a spoon of your rich fried rice, I must say it was so lovely, I made a mental note never to make you fried rice, because I just couldn’t top yours. I told you this and you wouldn’t accept that. You asked me to take some rice home with me when I was leaving, but I was so chuffed firstly at the fact that you could cook and then packing me take away. One step at a time baby! Let me get used to this first. I did not take my take away pack because I felt like I should be the one packing you take away not you. In hindsight, I should have taken some of the lovely rice away with me. Oh well, there will be many more where that came from I hope. 

Me forgetting my keys at work on friday evening meant I had to wait for my flat mate to be home before I left yours. This meant I got to spend more time with you than originally planned. For me it was bittersweet because I had so much work I planned on catching up on that evening and leaving yours late meant I would get home at about 11pm and not be able to get much done. At the same time I got to spend more time with you and saw you in your own element with your friends, having friendly arguments which I thought was cute. Although you kept turning around to look at me and apologise for it. For you, you were just pleased I was around full stop.

Unfortunately, the bitter of the evening and the stress of the work for the week ahead got to me and you sensed my change in mood and tried to make me smile. On our way to the station to drop me off, we got talking about my exams again and you told me you were pleased I will be going to Edinburgh for a while because it meant I had fewer distractions from work, friends and family commitments. But we now have a plan on how we will see each other while I am away. During our discussion you said you didn’t want me to come visit while I was up there and you will do the visiting so I can focus on studying which was a relief to me; all I have to do is let you know when my timetable permitted a visit. 

The talk about exams reminded me I was awaiting the results of the last one I sat in May and doubt crept into my mind. Doubt, stress and the high expectations I have set for myself, not to forget, not wanting to disappoint you, got the tears streaming down my face.
I let my emotions and the stress of a future situation get the best of me and ruin the ending of a perfect weekend. But even as I worried irrationally and as the tears fell down my eyes, your words of wisdom were instrumental in giving me peace, especially as you reminded me that you’ve got my back and me doubting myself was selfish because it meant I was saying I cared more about myself than God did me. No matter the outcome, we will deal with it when we get there.

You gave me a tissue to wipe my tears, a big hug and a few kisses and I set off home. I went home knowing you got my back, that piece of information was enough to take my mind off things.

Looking forward to many more firsts

Love
D xxx

Dirty dancing – the musical

Last night was very very very .. LONG!

I bought tickets to see dirty dancing with girl friends and my flat mate and tickets to see jersey boys with DT. The dirty dancing show was yesterday.

As the sports and social committee at work organised tickets for the show, we also organise a coach to take those going into London from the office (Reading) and bring them back to the office. I have seen several shows with work and this arrangement has been seamless.

A few weeks ago, Chorico kept on saying how the reviews about the show was rubbish online. It really annoyed me that she kept going on and on about the bad reviews, it made me wonder why she was still going and why she didn’t attempt to sell her ticket. The reason why I did not like it is because okay the show is rubbish, why are you robbing it in my face knowing fully well I am going to travel about 140 miles in total to and fro to see it.

The first thing I noticed yesterday was that we were going in a small coach which means the show is not as popular as the other ones I have seen the past. So this reminded me of what Chorico had been saying, ofcourse she was quick to remind me again on the coach.

Anyway, so we set off for London and as you would expect at about 5pm on a Thursday evening, there was a lot of traffic on the M4 and in central london. It didn’t help that I was sitting right behind the driver and she kept calling the coach head office saying her satnav keeps loosing signal and she isn’t very sure of where she is going so someone should give her directions. I was silently hoping she was joking. Ofcourse the man giving her directions not exactly sure of where she was gave her wrong directions and we got lost at Piccadilly Circus.

At this time it was 7pm and the show started at 7 30pm. Now the person I charge of the show jumps off her seat saying “please drop us off here, we are not going to get there on time at this rate. Some of us planned on having dinner before the show”. Okay so I get her point because I planned on grabbing some dinner before the show as well but she could have been a bit softer about her approach.

So this lady and her friends jumped out of the coach leaving me and Chorico alone on the coach and then we decided to follow the crowd. Me being me, before I left the coach, I asked the coach driver if the head of the coach had her phone number so that we can find the coach drivwer after the show. To my amazement she did not collect the phone number, but yet we all jumped off at Piccadilly circus, planning on walking to Covent garden and hoping the coach will meet us there eventually. I sha collected the coach drivers number because I cannot be doing hide and seek looking for the coach after the show.

In the process of doing my ajayi work or collecting her phone number, we lost the people who knew where they were going and had to find our way to the theatre by asking every tom dick and harry and with a little help from my sat nav on my blackberry. We got there at the nick of time and found my other two friends waiting, Versace and Boshinton.

The first half of the show was okay, it was not as great as the other shows I have seen and it was not horrible either. Next thing, during the interval I hear people screaming behind me. What is the problem? There is a mouse in the theatre. So this resulted in lots of shuffling around and screams and legs being raised up. As you can imagine, because of the disturbance, the second half of the show did not start on time.

In the process of jumping up and down our seats, we lost Boshington’s iPhone. When we realised this, the second half of the show had begun so we couldn’t search for it properly. This also meant I couldn’t concentrate on the show because I kept on feeling bad thinking if I didn’t invite her this won’t have happened. We tried to silently check her bags and my bag and the floors around us, nothing. We called the phone, it was ringing but as it was on silent we couldn’t hear it, neither could we see the phone light coming on and off as it usually does when it rings. So silently we watched the second half of the show, I’m sure she didn’t enjoy it either. We silently counted down to the end of the show so we could search for the phone properly and hopefully find it before I had to catch my coach back to Reading.

The show ended, we sprung off our chairs and started searching and we found it! Yay! Time to go home, hugged everyone, called the coach driver, found the coach and we were en-route Reading. Got back to the office at about midnight, called a taxi and was home in like 20 minutes. I literally dropped my bags and slumped on my bed. I was soo tired and just wanted to sleep and wake up at 6am the next morning for work. As I shut my eyes and enjoyed 10 minutes of sleep.. My phone rings.. DT.. I was tired but we hadn’t spoken properly through out the day so we talked for about 20 minutes and then back to bed. Only that this time, it was harder to fall asleep.

Long story short I was a walking zombie in the office today. Just simply exhausted. I am glad it is the weekend though. I started the weekend in a great way by forgetting my flat keys in the office. There was no absolute way I was going to travel back to work to get them. So I called Chorico and luckily she was in the gym which is just across the road from us. So I shall be relying on her keys till I get my keys on Monday.

I am going to be good this weekend. Good involves going on the treadmill tomorrow, as a start to my keeping fit regime. I am partly inspired by the hot bodies of the lady dancers at the dirty dancing musical. Boy can those ladies dance! And their banging body… One I can only dream off. As far as I am concerned sha, no body is worth giving up chocolate for :p. I shall eat all my junk and exercise.

Part two of being good is studying! Yup, back to Edinburgh in 5 weeks and they already sent us ‘pre course’ studying materials like 3 weeks ago and I haven’t opened it. So I shall be opening the package tomorrow and doing a bit of work like a good student. To treat myself, will probably see a movie with my friend tomorrow evening. Let’s see how it goes.

Anyways.. blog again soon I hope. Xx

Tune into my (ir)rational heart… my mind

Another stab at fiction.. keep the comments/feedback coming 🙂

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Shade finds herself yet again sitting in her empty flat, with the television on, only that she isn’t watching it. She can hear sounds coming from it which is surprising as one of her favourite shows was on tv, Sister Sister, with Tia and Tamara Mowry. These days she hasn’t been interested in watching them, instead her mind has been very occupied with her boyfriend, Sile. She is finding it hard to understand the situation she has found herself in.

Shade

I can remember very vividly our short lived honeymoon  period as they call it, you know the times when we were so in love with each other and couldn’t get enough of each other. The days when we talked late into the night, dreading going to bed as it meant we will have to say our goodbyes and sleep on our respective beds in our respective flats. Catching up at the weekends was pretty much a it goes without saying  situation. We used to look forward to seeing each other and savour every moment we spent together.. oh wait.. was that just me?

I guess he has spoilt me, because I find myself sitting in my living room, at what used to be our after work chat time watching tv and wondering if this is the beginning of our break up. For starters, I can’t remember the last time I saw him, oh i exaggerate, it was only 3 weeks ago. I can’t remember the last long and uninterrupted conversation we had, oh actually, it was 5 minutes long. What happened to those days when it was just me and him in our own little world and any call that interrupted our conversation was told to expect a call back. I find myself at the receiving end of this statement now, only that I am expecting numerous call backs in the process distorting the flow of our conversations. So much so that these days I don’t even bother trying to discuss anything interesting with him because I know at the climax of the conversation he will have to go attend to something, someone or pick up a phone call more important and I’ll be left with ‘babe, let me call you back’, slightly miffed and wishing I could train my loved up heart not to care about him as much as I do. Sometimes, I am even determined not to pick up my phone when he calls back just to prove to him i am not waiting around for his call. Seems like I am doing just that.

I feel like he has spoilt me, got me used to his charms and attention and then dropped me like its hot. I got used to having him at the other end of the line and fully involved with my weekends, I even compromised my typical weekend for his typical weekend. Now that he isn’t there, I find myself trying to remember what my life was like before him. I remember giving my friend’s advice while dating their boy friends not to get too carried away and forget to have fun by themselves. I guess I have fallen into that same trap myself.

I used to have a great time as a single person, I mean, I always had something planned. Not necessarily partying away, but I had things to keep me busy at the weekends and after work. Now, I am sitting here missing Sile, while he is away playing football with his friends. I find myself wishing I was his friend these days not his girlfriend because at least then we can spend some time together and I can have some of his attention. I know this is selfish but I sometimes wish he would tune into my heart and drive down the 25 minutes to my flat instead of playing football to surprise me and give me a big warm hug and drive back home. That’s all I ask for, especially as spending time together is more of a second priority to him, or so I feel anyway.

I’ll tell you what hurts the most, it is that he doesn’t seem to have caught on to the fact that I am not as happy as we were at the beginning. Can’t he hear it in my voice? Can’t he pick up the signs? How is he able to be happy and go ahead with his life without missing me half as much as I do right now. I am independent, not naggy, polite and very understanding, sometimes too understanding. What does he want from me? At this rate I feel like the answer to that question is nothing. I mean, I look back and think, what am I offering him? I have a lot to offer, but he asks for nothing and will not accept what I have to offer, be it material or emotional. This leads me to wonder what he wants from me? Why are we still together? Why hasn’t he ended the relationship? How does he manage to sound chirpy when we talk, or loving while I am silently sulking away and trying to muster up some happiness to match his chirpy tone. How is he able to tell me he loves me if I feel like this. Am I being irrational or am I expecting too much?

He still has the attributes of the man I fell in love with but I am zoning out of this relationship. I feel like the less time we spend together, the less time we have to get to know each other more. The less time we spend together, the more I slip away silently and shut down completely. Knowing myself, once I shut down, that is the end of the story. I have discussed this with my very good friend Bisi and she begged me not to shut down, because she knows how good I am at doing that. I am trying to follow her advice, but I really do hope Sile comes around soon.

With all this on my mind, I still manage to smile at work and around my flat, just so people don’t pry into my life. That was why I found it particularly funny when my flatmate Shalewa came up to me a few hours ago and said to me ‘Shade, you are very strong’. Yes, she said that out of the blue, apparently it had been on her mind after I reacted very differently to a situation we were both in and she cried her eyes out while I just took a deep breath and got on with it. Well.. she isnt here now to see my tears and realise I am not so strong after all. I guess i just have a great defence mechanism, but it is only skin deep. Inside, I am not has happy as my smiles depict.

So I have resolved to rediscovering myself. Keeping myself busy, after all my life doesn’t revolve around him. I am only silently hoping this does not push us further away from each other. How much further can we be.. after all I am making myself available now and he isn’t here. It is time to do me..

 

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I know once again, this has a lot of reverie in it and it is short x_x… lol I’ll try to work on something that is more corresponding and has more characters.

nanite!

xxx

Food + Family + Love

Hi fellow bloggers and blog readers. How are you all doing?

I don’t know if I told y’all but Mama J (not that I call her that) is in town!!!!!! My mum being in town means we get to cook proper Nigerian food and I get a really cool gift and we gist and catch up on quality time we have spent apart.

Let’s start with the cooking.

As she is only spending 3 nights of her short trip here with me (2 down, to go 😦 ), when I got back from work yesterday, we both went to one of those indian shops you can buy Nigerian food stuffs from. Bought some palm oil, egg plant (igba), tatashe (bell peppers), rodo (scotch bonnet), lamb, yam (5 pounds worth! Don’t even get me started!), efo (spinach) etc etc basically what we needed to cook up a feast.

I especially wanted egg plant stew for some reason because I recently remembered that being a saturday breakfast staple at some point growing up. All you need to do is boil the egg plant till its very soft, peel the skin and mash it. In the meantime, fry the stew / sauce or whatever, add some crayfish, dried fish and meat (if you wish). When the stew / sauce is dry, add your egg plant. Let it simmer and absorb as such of the stew as it can and viola! I think it is best eaten with boiled yam. It is a very local dish, so I am told by my mum but it is yum. A bit bitter but yum nonetheless. Had some more for breakfast this morning, couldn’t resist it.

I also made Efo to prove to my mum I can cook! My mum doesn’t still believe. I promise you next time I see her she will say the same thing. After all the cooking we settled down to our lovely feast and saved the rest for today. I shall be indulging in some Eba when I get back home.

Now, on a normal day / week or month, my dad calls me occasionally, but when his wife (my mama) is in town, OH BOY! He will call and call and call (not like I’m complaining). Half of the time he is asking for his wife back, which I think is really sweet. He will usually either ask me to pay a fine for having my mum for so long or tease that he’ll ask her to come back home tomorrow because she has spent enough time with me. That is when I remind him that I am her only daughter so quality time is essential and then we laugh it off.

I remember last year when my mum was around and staying with me. I asked her in the morning if she wanted to keep the keys as I did not have spares. She said no that she will be home after me. Big mistake! Lol because there was loads of traffic and she ended up having to wait in the cold. Oh did I get an ear full from my dad? I did! From me starving my mum to me locking her out of the house etc etc. It wasn’t funny then, but now I look back and think.. *sigh* soo sweet, husband and wife, 27 years later, still in love. Oh and I got another bag 🙂 *thank you mummy*

It was during this cooking feast that I was talking to DT and he was saying and teasing (I hope) about how he doesn’t like pounded yam made on hob and prefers motar pounded yam.. I pretty much just laugh. I sabi pound yam, but in this country?? Not happening. He went to tease about how he doesn’t eat stew that is more than a day old… Which made me laugh even more. This I know for sure he was kidding. He then told me about this lady he knew growing up and how she had to make stew for her husband literally everyday and carry the whole pot of stew to the table for him to pick what he wants. Oh I forgot to mention that she served him while on her knees. I was like ahhh… RiGghhhht and then to add salt to wound, he concluded that, he whole cooking and gesture of respect did not save the marriage. I was a bit pissed for the woman sha, but DT made a good point. He asked whether I expected a man who requires all that from his wife to be normal or to be someone who can ever be satisfied? You tell me!

Anyway enough of the food and family love….

Once again, I didn’t tell you guys I was at a wedding on Wednesday! Oh lalalalallalala! It once again gave me reinforced my fairytale beliefs!!!!

So the bride is my good friend’s sister and the groom.. I have come to know over time from hanging out at my friend’s place and visiting their church a few times. Both of them are very God fearing #fullstop.

You could tell their pastor had a very soft spot for them. The wedding sermon was somewhat personalised and very relevant. Enjoyed that as well. In fact it made me start thinking about the fact that it would be nice to get married by my pastor but seeing as I would most likely be getting married in Nigeria, I doubt that will be the case. Not just too pleased about having to go to my old church, pastor or vicar or whoever not having known me, knows nothing about my life or whether or not I am a christian but yet get married by him *sigh*.. I guess it can’t all be perfect, something has to give.

Anyway, the wedding and reception were in Essex and the reception venue was just simply marvellous. It took forever to find a dress to wear but when I did, it was just perfect! Found this lovely dress in this clothing store called ‘Joy’.

The reception was held in this place called Boreham House. If you have a minute to spare, just google Boreham house and click on images. Very and extremely picturesque and may I add that it looked even more lush in person especially as the weather was glorious! I hear the bride and groom fasted for the weather as the guests waited outside while canapes were served while the bridal party took pictures. God surely answered their prayers. Did I mention that the food was yum? Which reminds me, I need to get the caterer’s details. It was Nigerian food but with a twist.

At the reception, the bride and the groom read their written vows to themselves. *sigh* let’s just say love is SWEET! But can I add that the groom’s vows won hands down! It was so genuine and from the heart….. *future husband, take notes*

Boy did they dance! They danced o, infact me too I danced! It was really a day of joy. Especially as it now means my darling friend, Versace, is next to get married in her family.

Let me give a bit of statistics… Versace is the 3rd out of 4 kids and they are all girls. #1 got married last year 1 May, #2 got married this year 1 June and number 3, it is only fair she gets married next year 1 july :p. I mentioned it to her boo and he pointed it out to me that 1 July was a Sunday so no can do. What a shame.. But how did he know that?! He had checked the date already. I was very impressed, I predict a proposal either last this year or around valentines day / her birthday which is in February also, I’ll keep you posted. Ofcourse I might be very wrong!

One of myself and Versace’s mutual friends was saying how their mum was very blessed and she wants to know what prayer their mum prayed while she was pregnant or while they were young so she too can say the same prayer for her kids. Reason being.. #1 (I think) met her husband at university and they dated for at least (I think) 8 years if not more before they got married, #2 also met her boo at uni and dated for about the same time maybe slightly less or more before getting married last week. #3, my darling friend, started dating her booboo 1st year in uni, 6yrs on, still going. They are just sooo cute *sigh*. To add icing on the lovely cake, they are all God fearing, love God etc etc and when I need encouragement to keep striving etc.. I know who I go to. #4 is about to start university and I know what you are thinking, well if you aren’t, I am thinking it.. I wonder if she will meet her husband in her first year in university as well.

I remember growing up I always wanted to marry the first man I dated and have our first kiss at the altar… *sigh*.. Need I say more! But hey, if that had happened, I would never have met my darling DT :D.

Which brings me to another topic.. Dear friends, especially the ladies, how did you communicate to your respective fathers that you were dating someone.. serious? Me I am very shy o. Me and my dad are somewhat cool but never ever have this kind of conversation.

I am trying to come up with a plan. I feel bad that my dad seems to be the only one out of the loop, I don’t think he will be too pleased with this either. To be honest I didn’t tell everyone, I guess ‘good’ news has a way of flying when you have aunties..

Would love to hear from you all.

Day dreaming…

It is 2:15pm and it has been a long busy day at work already. So many deadlines to meet, every manager in the building seems to need something from me and now. I wonder if they think I have more than the pair of hands they can see dangling from my scrawny body.

When I started this job, I had just broken up with my long term boyfriend and it was a tough time. I was quite happy to get lost in the world of the corporates. It was busy so I did not have to remember I was single. I worked every single hour I had because it made me happy and got me distracted.

However, every now again the fact I am single and approaching the wrong side of my twenties made me wonder if I will ever meet ‘him’ and get married. Will I ever have the little family I have always dreamt about? Will we live in the little but big enough house for the four of us with the average sized all purpose garden at the back; my little girl and boy, or two boys / two girls, playing together as best friends while myself and my husband watch the beautiful children we brought into the world from the kitchen with a satisfying smile on our faces.

On Saturday mornings, will I have the opportunity to wake up early in the morning to get breakfast ready and then wake up Damisi to get him ready for his under 13 football practice? Drive him to the local park and sit on the benches, watching him intently and proudly with my camcorder switched on waiting for him to score his first goal. As I sit there patiently and willing him to do his best, will I remember to wear an encouraging smile just in case he looks at me?

On Sunday evenings when I get the kid’s school bags ready and look at our schedules for the week, will I have the opportunity to look at my husband over the dinner table and say to him “honey, i have a client meeting tomorrow and won’t be back till 7pm, do you mind taking Nifemi for her ballet class?”

After putting the kids to bed, will I remember to make sure I have enough energy for my husband and I still have some listening capacity in my head for ‘our’ time. Listen to his goals and aspirations? Will I remember to encourage him and stand by him despite the situation we are in. Will I be able to be there for him when he feels broken and deflated and put his head on my bosoms to let him cry, give him a big hug to assure him we are a team and together we can conquer the world? When he is over the moon and ecstatic about a new deal he saw through, will I be waiting for him at home with a bottle of champagne or something to celebrate with him and plant a huge kiss on his lips? Will I remember to remind him that he is great?

Will I be a patient wife and mother, quick to listen but slow to speak? Will I be able to choose my battles wisely? Will I remember to put God first in all that we do in our personal lives and a family. Will I be able to bring up my children in the way of the lord and have them remember he will always be there for them in every situation.

*sigh* I digress…. back to the main point of my day dream…

Just when I began to get used to the single world again, every friend of mine is trying to hook me up with the next guy they see, not even having the decency to make sure that he is a sensible man or that he fits the man in my dreams. Imagine the other day, Tito gave this guy my blackberry pin and while we were getting to know each other, he asked me what I did, like any one would. Before I could answer, he goes “please tell me you work in Burger King” and I thought to myself, RIGHT.. I am university graduate with a masters degree from a top 10 university in the world at 25 and you expect me to work in burger king??! I really shouldn’t be talking to you right now.

The other guy Shalewa introduced to me just couldn’t stop saying “Wow” to everything I said.  I mean,  okay I appreciate that you think I great but you should stop wowing and Wow me instead. To think these two examples are the least of the other atrocious experiences I have had, thanks to matchmaking.  So you can see that my friend’s are not exactly great at matchmaking. I just want them to leave me to my own devices jare. After all, I am not ready for a relationship… or am I?

I really can’t answer that question, but what I know is this, till I meet him, whoever he is, I shall be preparing myself and making myself the one for him. Oh yes, that’s what Pastor Shade was teaching us at the singles conference last weekend. It never dawned on me you know. I just always used to think and day dream about how I wanted my man to be perfect and I had my list. It never occurred to me that my Mr Right might have a list as well and I might not meet his criteria. She also taught us that our single-hood is a gift. I struggled with that one but I see her point. One step at a time, I will get there.

I can’t believe it is 4:30pm already, 30 minutes till I go home and I have hardly done any work. After all they encourage us to think outside the box which is what I have spent the last few hours doing. Unfortunately my thinking wasn’t work related. Oh well…

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This was my very random stab at fiction.. let me know what you think. I don’t plan on becoming a writer but feedback will be appreciated for me to improve for you guys.

I have a lot of stuff going on in my head and it will be good to be able to vent via ‘fiction’ and give stories an ending I wish they could have.. or share some experiences I want to add salt and pepper to with you guys.

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