Angelsbeauty's Blog

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My plea: If you do not love me, please do not MARRY ME!

As an advocate for love and some one who really enjoys being in love, it really baffles me to hear about people getting married and a few days, weeks or years into the marriage, they kill their other half. How is that fathomable? It really upsets me.

And excuse me, feeling under pressure from family to get married or not to be gay is not a good enough excuse. Guess what? That same pressure has driven you to become a murderer and when you get caught, you will never be free again. You will spend years in jail and even if you don’t, the stigma of what you have done will remain on you forever! How will you even be able to live a normal life after this?

I was just watching dispatches on Channel 4, and today’s was about the newly wedded Indian couple. They got engaged after 1 year of dating, it was partly long distance relationship, she lived in Sweden and he lived in the UK and from what I gather from the documentary, she came to visit monthly. Apparently, the groom, Shrien, was previously engaged and it was broken up. No one quite explained what broke up that engagement, but if I were the new bride to be, Anni, I would have been all over that like a rash mehn. Engagements don’t just get broken for no reason.

Now, although I am not pro sex before marriage for various reasons (yes, body no be wood, but I’ll rather wait), in the documentary, the late Anni’s father was telling the reporters that her daughter confided in him that her boyfriend / fiance did not believe in sex before marriage. Now, although I will never confide such with my father, he would probaly pull my ears for wanting otherwise but I guess it is different for different people. Anni and her sister did not quite understand this, but I guess she was able to live with this. For some reason, when I heard this, the gay radar in my head went off. I guess one of the risks you stand with abstaining from having sex before marriage or being celibate, whichever the case maybe, is that you never know if your other half is gay and is just getting married to hide this fact and using the marriages as a cover. Basically hiding under the blanket of doing things right (.i.e. no sex before marriage) to buy his/herself time.

Apparently, when they started planning the wedding, about 3 months before, it was a really trying time for their relationship and many times, Anni wanted out. I guess they finally started spending more time together towards the wedding. However, her sister and cousin kept encouraging her not to break it off. They did not really say why they were arguing. To be honest, if I were in their shoes I would have said the same thing. I mean, what do you say to a person that from your own point of view, both of them look look happy outwardly. You won’t exactly say ‘call off the wedding’. So basically, she wasn’t happy in the build up to the wedding. They got married anyway, the wedding was beautiful and apparently, they went to the honeymoon suite afterward and they had another argument. Apparently, they did not sleep together that night, your first night as a couple – I don’t know if they meant they did not consumate their marriage that night or if they meant they slept in separate rooms. Anyway, apparently she was texting her cousin and friends, basically saying crying had become her new hobby. How can crying be your new hobby a few days into your marriage! I rebuke that for my enemy o – this is meant to be the beginning of the rest of your lives together. People say things will not always be rosie, but still, the well known honey moon period is there for a reason abi? You are both forced to be lovely to each other, even if it doesnt last for a while. It reminds you in those tough times to come that your other half can be romantic and lovely – no?

Long story short, Anni died. How? The car got hijacked and they pushed Shrien out and took Annie away to kill her. There was no evidence for sexual assault, so what was their motive? If they wanted money, isn’t it the man in most relationships that handles the money? They didn’t ask for a ransom either. It was just a pointless kill!

A few months on, the husband is the main suspect. Apparently, he set up the whole thing. He arranged for the tour guide to pick them up, kidnap his wife and kill her. Sick as that sounds, I am inclined to believe this was the case after watching dispatches. There was cctv evidence that show that m0ments after they found his wife’s body, he went privately to speak to the taxi driver – he says he was paying him for his services. EXCUSE ME – they just told you your wife who you thought was kidnapped was dead and you go away privately to pay a tour guide??? How is that a priority??

The tour guide / driver confessed that Shrien asked him to organise the whole thing and he arranged for 2 hit men to help with the kidnap and killing. If this is true, how wicked can one be? WHY did he marry her? That is what I really do not understand. The innocent lady. I just don’t get this at all. They spent £150,000 on the wedding just for you to end her life less than 3 weeks later? How mean can one be? There is also proof that Shrien was communicating constantly with the tour guide before he picked them up, while they were in the car together (basically on their way to the ‘kidnapping’ incident and after she had died. I fear this kind of person o.

Now, after all of this, there have been people coming out to say they have slept with Shrien in the past. Yes, men – so basically there is a chance that Shrien is gay. One of them is an escort or whatever they call them. They found proof of this on the man’s phone bill, so basically evidence that there was communication between him and Shrien and also a receipt with Shrien’s name on it. If he was gay why get married? Even if he got married to hide his gayness, why did he have to kill her?! Another man in the UK came out to say he has been dating Shrien for a while now. This other guy wanted to be anonymous I guess, but the escort guy did not want to be. So even if the anonymous guy is lying, the other one who we now all know cannot really be lying about that, or could he? Shrien is saying he is not gay – me I don’t know, I was not there – but this whole thing sounds very dodgy!

So my plea to men and women if you are being pressured to get married and you give in into this pressure, whatever you do, please do not kill the person that loved you enough to want to spend the rest of their lives with you. I just don’t understand why they think killing is the answer. Killing a person never solves problems. Even though you think people will never find out, it hangs over you for a longtime, if not forever. Save yourself the heartache and do not KILL! I can’t even bring myself to explain what I am trying to communicate coherently enough. I feel like there is fire in my blood as I am typing this. I felt sooo sorry for Anni’s family, losing a daughter, a sister and a loved one. It can’t be easy. Talk less of Shrien’s father who is a Judge or magistrate (not sure) – someone who passes the law. Imagine the scandal this will cause for his family as well. I mean, come on, don’t let pressure lead you to become a murderer. The institution of marriage is being turned into some kind of scary institution. If it is not a cheating or abusive spouse we hear about these days, it is one that kills or arranges to kill his other half. It is not even enticing to get married again. My hours spent daydreaming about marriage is being tainted.

To read some more about this story and maybe make some sense of what I am trying to say click here.

For another story of a man that killed his wife 11 days after their wedding to claim life insurance click here.

With this I end with a short prayer, feel free to say the same for yourself:

Lord, I pray you guide my path in this wicked world.

I pray you lead me in the direction that you have ordained for me.

I pray lord that myself and my loved ones will continue to find favour in the eyes of men

I pray lord thatyour protection will fall upon us.

Father, I pray that you will not leave or forsake us

I pray that even as I fall in love and go about making that important decision of who I want to spend the rest of my life with, that you will be in that decision.

Lord I pray it will never be a decision I will come to regret. Instead lord, every living day of my life, I will thank you for that man who you gave to me as an answer to my prayers. That man, whose ribs I was made out of.

Lord, I pray that I will be alert to signs that will require me to walk out of certain situations I should not be in.

Thank you lord, because I know and believe you have heard my prayers.

In Jesus name I pray.


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14 thoughts on “My plea: If you do not love me, please do not MARRY ME!

  1. Wow, I swear a lot of these marriage stories are scary. I always wonder what led the couple to get married in the first place.

    May her soul rest in peace. Truly sad

  2. Scary story. I remember when it was all over the news a while ago, but there wasn’t any mention of him being gay. It’s truly shocking, if indeed he did do it all. That’s the problem with parents who force you to do things, eg get married, just because they think it’s best for you. And this whole culture thing. It can make you envious of those who have no close relationships with their parents, or aren’t too into the culture/religion that makes people feel under pressure to get married. Having said all that, though, what kind of pressure drives one to kill their own spouse of such a short time?! What a very sad story, and the victim in all this is the most innocent of all.

    On a minor note, I think the whole ‘body no be wood’ theory is kinda flawed. Wood catches fire, doesn’t it? Hehe.

  3. Like someone told me, “You won’t say because planes crash, you won’t fly again. You just have to pray that the planes you board don’t crash”… It’s a crazy world!

  4. Amin ooo, to your prayer….it’s really a pity, dunno how to co-ordinate my thoughts becox i am confused….WHY MARRY HER IN THE FIRST PLACE???..???

  5. Sad story

    Regarding the question: ‘Why marry her in the first place’……probably because the parents are pressurizing him to marry and produce a heir + he wants to conform to societal expectations.

    Culture and elders can apply so much pressure on individuals – forcing them to conform and pretend.

    May God give us the courage to know when not to conform. Amen

  6. Indians are crazy about marriage like us in Nigeria oo. their own worse pass sef.

    I said that your prayer very violently oo. God keep us safe from the wicked! Amen.

  7. I don’t think he married her cos he loved her o, i think he married her to kill her cos he might need something from her but she must die first, so i dont think its a case of abuse, dis is a planned murder.

    Then talking about premarital sex, one doesnt have to have sex with someone before you know their sexuality.
    Take for instance, 2 christians that are courting and have decided to wait for marriage, waiting is not easy and when you even hug the man, you feel the body chemistry. When you don’t notice the signs and struggles of a fully blooded man in your fiancee, then you should suspect that he’s gay. We dont have to engage in premarital sex to find that out at all. There are so many tell tale signs

    • You see, like you I thought that was why he killed her. But during the investigation, they explicitly said that the guy was from a well to do family as well.

      I agree that you do not have to have sex before marriage to know one’s sexuality. You have a point sha, that should see or feel the struggle he has to go through – having said that though, wouldnt a gay guy do the same thing? Like say maybe like – dont hug me tightly or we can’t sleep on the same bed or basically put limits between both of you so that he doesnt fall into temptation?

      I feel like those signs could be similar to a guy that wants to be celibate or wait for marriage.

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