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Childbirth – one of my greatest fears


If you are squimish like me about childbirth, you may want to stop reading now as there might be a little bit of TMI (too much information) below. I haven’t included any photos of childbirth itself because I couldn’t find anything appropriate. However, I found a really scary article about 10 Excruciating medical treatments from the middle ages. Click here to read more -it is really nasty and scary stuff. It makes you thank God for technology and advancement in medicine. Before I wrote this blog, I thought I should have a quick sniff around to see what was online regarding childbirth and I must say, most of the things I saw were more scary than re-assuring. It made me wonder why I decided to write about this in the first place. I may be traumatised after this.

What more can I say about childbirth? I won’t lie to you, the thought of having to give birth to a child sends shivers down my body. It is not something I am eagerly looking forward to. Don’t get me wrong, I love children and I want my own kids. I am looking forward to making kids but not pushing them out. As my colleague at work says, once you are pregnant, there is only one way they child is coming out so no need to worry about it till the due date. But mehn, I dey worry about am o!

My cousin is pregnant and 2 of my very good friends older sisters are pregnant and I am just so mega excited. I feel like I can be a part of the process, even though I won’t be in the labour room with them. I will only experience the cuteness of being a first time mother with them and the after joy of carrying their children. The part where they are in agony, I will conveniently miss.

People who know me well know that I love talking about everything, no matter how crude. So yes, I was discussing this with DT – luckily he is a doctor so he is used to ‘awkward’ conversations. It also works for me because I don’t have to think too much before asking him or discussing whatever I feel like with him, especially things like childbirth. So during our discussion, I was talking about how excited I was that all these people were pregnant and due soon and the conversation lead further into childbirth and he knows I want kids but it freaks me out so my ‘if I had my way’ maximum number of kids is 3! I would like at least 2, but after 3, erm… NO MORE! So he starts to say how he wants 6 kids, afterall he is from a big family (I know he was joking because we have had this discussion before, def not 6), I just told him he is on his own – full stop.

Anyway, I digress, so because I love love, and marriage, and happy homes, and pregnancy and children… etc (you get the gist), people always come to me to tell me these stories. I am sure you would have guessed from all of the things I have listed above that childbirth is the one I could really do without hearing much about.  One of my colleagues who just had a baby, then tells me the difference between having a C section and natural  childbirth and how she preferred C section. I couldn’t understand this because I kept thinking, but for C section, you will need an epidural to your spinal cord and if they make a mistake and the needle should hit where it shouldn’t have, you could be paralysed – I may be wrong, but that is my understnanding, please feel free to correct me if you know for sure. Anyway, her reason for this was because, when she had her first child by natural delivery, her ‘down there’ tore – I am really cringing writing about this, it gives me goosebumps. As I was saying, it tore and she had to have however many stitches. Apparently, this is common practice as my friend who had a baby last year as well was telling me her vagina tore as well. This is not exactly the kind of news I want to be hearing. I mean, how does it tear, how horrible does that sound! I don’t want to tear *tears*.

Anyway, so I was telling DT that amongst other things, that was my greatest fear. What did my darling man do? He then asked me if I had heard of something called Episiotomy. I said no and asked him what it meant, but he directed me to google *sigh* so I googled it and screamed while he was on the phone and he laughed. How mean! If you want to see what I screamed, click here. Basically, the sight of the scissors was enough to nearly make me cry. Mehn – women go through a lot o! It is one thing for your vagina to tear and another for them to cut it for you to ‘help’ you during childbirth – where they deem it necessary. Apparently they use of it is declining, which is good news, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t tear on your own *hides face*.

He went on to try to calm me down by saying that it is usually the bad news about pregnancy that get’s around and it is not as bad as it seems. Then he made the school boy error of comparing childbirth to a tooth being removed! *sigh* it was a good thing we were having this conversation over the phone, otherwise the looks I would have given him ehn! I said he couldn’t compare the two – but he as adamant that the fact that he had delivered kids before meant he had an understanding of the pain women went through – ofcourse I stood my ground and said it was not the same, but I didn’t have much to stand on because 1. I have never had a child and 2. I have never been into a labour room.

Then another lady in my church told me the pain was not bad! I couldn’t understand how she could lie to my face like  that. Or was she really serious? She couldn’t have been telling the truth. How could the pain not have been bad? Apparently, mother’s have this secret code of not saying the whole truth about childbirth so as not to deter young ladies like myself from having children. I say tell us everything and let us know whether when to start fasting and praying for painless childbirth x_x.

So basically, I am in no better position to where I started off being scared of childbirth – I still am, but like he rightly pointed out, if it was that bad, why do women go back to have more? So that’s what I am trying to keep at the back of my mind. I definitely have some more information now about the whole thing than I did before and I still have questions I would like answer at some point in my life – maybe after I am married – before or during pregnancy – who knows? Eve – o-Eve, why did you have to eat the apple that resulted in the punishment for women being horrible labour pain?

*sigh* I guess I will cross this bridge when I get there but I won’t promise that I will not be a whinney first time mother – so watch this space.

It would be great to hear from the mums  – especially if they had the same fears I do now before they had their children and also generally if anyone has this fear!

On a lighter note, I got to Edinburgh safely yesterday. I nearly missed my flight – got to the airport after check in had closed but luckily I had checked in online and got there just after check in had closed so I was allowed on the plane *phew*. I had my first class today on business management and it wasn’t too bad but loads to remember and loads of calculation which I like – having said that, of the 3 subjects I will be doing, this is meant to be the easiest. Let’s hope I am still smiling at the end of the week.

Actually, let’s hope I am smiling tomorrow! I get my results for my final tax exam tomorrow. I am really hoping and praying I pass so at least I will be CTA qualified and all that would be left will be my accounting qualification. FATHER – hear my prayer oooooooo! *sigh* I shall be blogging tomorrow (I hope) – regardless of the results.

Off to study.. xxx

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15 thoughts on “Childbirth – one of my greatest fears

  1. How coincidental, but I was just watching this tv show, not about babies or anything, but there just happened to be a childbirth scene, and my thoughts were exactly like yours! It’s such a freaky thing! I wish you could just sneeze and the baby will fall out! But oh my God, I’ve never thought much about this whole tearing thing! *shivers* Might be a silly thing, but I don’t know why I feel as if it’ll be tiny people like me that’ll have such problems! Maybe I should start looking for a surrogate! Jokes aside though, it’s very SCARY thinking about it at my uneducated level, but it’ll be interesting to see what those who’ve actually had kids before say.

    Glad you got to Edinburgh safe. Goodluck for tomorrow! 🙂

  2. LOL
    Okay, where do I start….
    Re: ‘The pain’……………….dont let anyone deceive you. The pain is like having surgery without anesthesia + your insides being ripped apart + your VG set on fire …. multiplied by a thousand and then raised to the power infinite.

    And people say you forget the pain….well, I still remember every one of my births……ouch, ouch, ouch!

    Okay, moving on……Too much knowledge can be a bad thing. Giving birth is a natural process and women have been doing it for donkey years. Just pray for a safe delivery.

    In all honesty, all the pain of childbirth pales into insignificance when you realise that you have brought another human being into the world. Someone who depends on you; who makes you feel complete and whose smile you can spot in a crowded room.

    Believe me, it’s worth it

    *A crazy mum who still does not feel worthy of her 3 miracles* LOL

    • *sigh*

      The pain bit is scary and maybe knowing less helps, but I like to be in the know!

      I was watching ‘one born every minute’ the other day and I saw d pain the lady was in during labour but as soon as the child popped out all I could see was love in her eyes and sheer joy it was like the pain evaporated and she was never in pain just 2 minutes or so before!

      But your description is the closest I’ve gotten to what could be the real thing. At least I have more of an idea now! Thank you 🙂

  3. I just simply refuse to think about it too much right now. I have the mentality of ‘I’ll cross that bridge when i get there’. lol.

  4. lol @9jamum….*hi5*.

    Angel, yes, i had similar fears before i got married & i tell you, the fear is still there even after 4! hence, always check my room for ‘mistake’ o!

    it’s well, just think of the ‘life’ you have created…it would ease away the ‘fear’ when the D-day comes:D

  5. I think you are worrying too much. If you have read my old posts, I used to be very scared of child birth but I had to caution myself cos it is really unhealthyfor me and my faith.
    Fear is not a good thing, as it has the ability to attract bad events into our lives. I have decided to pray and have faith that I will have a stressless and smoonth child birth like a lot of wome. No need for me to concentrate on the women that didn’t have smooth ones. I have also decided to have just 2 kids.
    On the other hand, Eve no try at all

  6. Darling, why jump the in due time you shall join the annointed 🙂

    My lecturer in undergrad, looked at me, and said ‘you, dont bother with labor. just tell them to cut(CS). We shall see about that. me no wan no episiotomy shaa

  7. Now you have succeeded in making me “SCAREDER”!!! But i know it is well sha, after all, some people go through it without pain. How else will someone go back to the delivery room again and again?

    • Lol I am sorry I made your scareder! Lol that’s what I’m thinking now o. People go back for more and more. One of my good friends is from a family of 10! Lol same mum and dad and her mum is still healthy and beautiful today! So it is doable. I thought of something else that gives me the chills about this thing recently but I won’t share so I don’t make you even more scared! Lol

  8. Pingback: How did God cause women’s pain to be greatly increased during childbirth? « Theories and Concepts

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