Childbirth – one of my greatest fears
If you are squimish like me about childbirth, you may want to stop reading now as there might be a little bit of TMI (too much information) below. I haven’t included any photos of childbirth itself because I couldn’t find anything appropriate. However, I found a really scary article about 10 Excruciating medical treatments from the middle ages. Click here to read more -it is really nasty and scary stuff. It makes you thank God for technology and advancement in medicine. Before I wrote this blog, I thought I should have a quick sniff around to see what was online regarding childbirth and I must say, most of the things I saw were more scary than re-assuring. It made me wonder why I decided to write about this in the first place. I may be traumatised after this.
What more can I say about childbirth? I won’t lie to you, the thought of having to give birth to a child sends shivers down my body. It is not something I am eagerly looking forward to. Don’t get me wrong, I love children and I want my own kids. I am looking forward to making kids but not pushing them out. As my colleague at work says, once you are pregnant, there is only one way they child is coming out so no need to worry about it till the due date. But mehn, I dey worry about am o!
My cousin is pregnant and 2 of my very good friends older sisters are pregnant and I am just so mega excited. I feel like I can be a part of the process, even though I won’t be in the labour room with them. I will only experience the cuteness of being a first time mother with them and the after joy of carrying their children. The part where they are in agony, I will conveniently miss.
People who know me well know that I love talking about everything, no matter how crude. So yes, I was discussing this with DT – luckily he is a doctor so he is used to ‘awkward’ conversations. It also works for me because I don’t have to think too much before asking him or discussing whatever I feel like with him, especially things like childbirth. So during our discussion, I was talking about how excited I was that all these people were pregnant and due soon and the conversation lead further into childbirth and he knows I want kids but it freaks me out so my ‘if I had my way’ maximum number of kids is 3! I would like at least 2, but after 3, erm… NO MORE! So he starts to say how he wants 6 kids, afterall he is from a big family (I know he was joking because we have had this discussion before, def not 6), I just told him he is on his own – full stop.
Anyway, I digress, so because I love love, and marriage, and happy homes, and pregnancy and children… etc (you get the gist), people always come to me to tell me these stories. I am sure you would have guessed from all of the things I have listed above that childbirth is the one I could really do without hearing much about. One of my colleagues who just had a baby, then tells me the difference between having a C section and natural childbirth and how she preferred C section. I couldn’t understand this because I kept thinking, but for C section, you will need an epidural to your spinal cord and if they make a mistake and the needle should hit where it shouldn’t have, you could be paralysed – I may be wrong, but that is my understnanding, please feel free to correct me if you know for sure. Anyway, her reason for this was because, when she had her first child by natural delivery, her ‘down there’ tore – I am really cringing writing about this, it gives me goosebumps. As I was saying, it tore and she had to have however many stitches. Apparently, this is common practice as my friend who had a baby last year as well was telling me her vagina tore as well. This is not exactly the kind of news I want to be hearing. I mean, how does it tear, how horrible does that sound! I don’t want to tear *tears*.
Anyway, so I was telling DT that amongst other things, that was my greatest fear. What did my darling man do? He then asked me if I had heard of something called Episiotomy. I said no and asked him what it meant, but he directed me to google *sigh* so I googled it and screamed while he was on the phone and he laughed. How mean! If you want to see what I screamed, click here. Basically, the sight of the scissors was enough to nearly make me cry. Mehn – women go through a lot o! It is one thing for your vagina to tear and another for them to cut it for you to ‘help’ you during childbirth – where they deem it necessary. Apparently they use of it is declining, which is good news, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t tear on your own *hides face*.
He went on to try to calm me down by saying that it is usually the bad news about pregnancy that get’s around and it is not as bad as it seems. Then he made the school boy error of comparing childbirth to a tooth being removed! *sigh* it was a good thing we were having this conversation over the phone, otherwise the looks I would have given him ehn! I said he couldn’t compare the two – but he as adamant that the fact that he had delivered kids before meant he had an understanding of the pain women went through – ofcourse I stood my ground and said it was not the same, but I didn’t have much to stand on because 1. I have never had a child and 2. I have never been into a labour room.
Then another lady in my church told me the pain was not bad! I couldn’t understand how she could lie to my face like that. Or was she really serious? She couldn’t have been telling the truth. How could the pain not have been bad? Apparently, mother’s have this secret code of not saying the whole truth about childbirth so as not to deter young ladies like myself from having children. I say tell us everything and let us know whether when to start fasting and praying for painless childbirth x_x.
So basically, I am in no better position to where I started off being scared of childbirth – I still am, but like he rightly pointed out, if it was that bad, why do women go back to have more? So that’s what I am trying to keep at the back of my mind. I definitely have some more information now about the whole thing than I did before and I still have questions I would like answer at some point in my life – maybe after I am married – before or during pregnancy – who knows? Eve – o-Eve, why did you have to eat the apple that resulted in the punishment for women being horrible labour pain?
*sigh* I guess I will cross this bridge when I get there but I won’t promise that I will not be a whinney first time mother – so watch this space.
It would be great to hear from the mums – especially if they had the same fears I do now before they had their children and also generally if anyone has this fear!
On a lighter note, I got to Edinburgh safely yesterday. I nearly missed my flight – got to the airport after check in had closed but luckily I had checked in online and got there just after check in had closed so I was allowed on the plane *phew*. I had my first class today on business management and it wasn’t too bad but loads to remember and loads of calculation which I like – having said that, of the 3 subjects I will be doing, this is meant to be the easiest. Let’s hope I am still smiling at the end of the week.
Actually, let’s hope I am smiling tomorrow! I get my results for my final tax exam tomorrow. I am really hoping and praying I pass so at least I will be CTA qualified and all that would be left will be my accounting qualification. FATHER – hear my prayer oooooooo! *sigh* I shall be blogging tomorrow (I hope) – regardless of the results.
Off to study.. xxx