Laughter – from the depth of my belly
I have to say I am blessed with amazing friends! Before I sing them praises, let me say sometimes they really annoy me! But most of the time… they make me laugh. We have an extremely good laugh. As in the kind that reaches the depth of your belly that makes tears start coming out of your eyes. They know me too well! From my taste in clothes and the kind of things they just know I would buy, to when I have ‘DT gist’ for them, to when I am upset etc. They know me like I know the back of my hands (is that the saying?)! They know when I am being unreasonable, or when I am scared, they know when to turn me back on track and what to say when. They know when to spark for me.. etc okay I could go on but that is not why I am blogging today lol. I love you friends.. lol
I know I rarely share the ‘downs’ myself and DT go through… it’s not because I am in denial, it’s simply because the downs cannot even be called downs. I thank God for that. Having say that.. after have a ‘high’ weekend, I mean, I was finally back in London, we were both happy, I met another member of his family, we spent the most of the weekend together etc, last night was a downer.. due to some news I shared with him which wasn’t any body’s fault but due to the nature of what we were discussing, it put a downer on things. I mean, we try to go to bed on a high note, me especially. Mstizzle can testify that I have a very fragile heart.. lol my conscience will just be on my case. So anytime we have a heated conversation or I am upset and I have to get off the phone, I always call back in maximum 10 minutes time to cool things off – apologise if I am in the wrong or just make sure we are fine before going to bed.
It has now become a routine – when I am mad and I get off the phone, he knows I will call back. Lol, whether or not that is a good thing I don’t know. However, once he did something I didn’t like and he knew it. I restrained myself from calling back that day because I was very upset. After the usual 10 minutes.. lol I get a text from him apologising and explaining where he was coming from etc.. lol maybe I should stop calling and get more texts …. naahh i can’t hack it. So at my friend’s wedding I went to from Edinburgh, the pastor’s sermon was amazing to say the least. It was very purposeful, to the point and useful. What me I took from the sermon, you may find silly or irrelevant, but it was something ‘new’ to me – in the sense that I have never heard that being said at a wedding before. He said that marriage is not a piece of cake. It has its ups and downs and sometimes the love runs cold. However, as love is a choice, it is the husband’s choice to warm up the love again. It is his job to break the ice when things are not like they used to be. It got me thinking – wow… men really need to hear this. Anyway.. what DT took away from the wedding was – when you wife/husband does you wrong, do not hold it against them. If you forgive them, forgive and forget and don’t remind them and say, remember what you did 5 years ago etc.
After the wedding.. in our many conversations, when I make the mistake of saying ehn ehn this is the second time o.. lol DT ofcourse is quick to say ‘remember what that pastor said oo’ lool and it just cracks me up, we laugh about it and I say hm I have heard. At which point I also remind him his duty is to keep the love warm. I have to say he is doing a great job on this part. I admit I can be hard work sometimes, especially when I am in one of my ‘moods’. However, even though I can tell he doesn’t feel like it sometimes.. he still pulls through for me, for us.. and manages to make me smile and laugh and make me happy and thankful to God for him. For example, like I said, last night was a bit of a drag, so I was a bit anxious about our conversation today, because I didn’t want it to be the same as last night. I needed the ice to be broken, but it needed to be broken by him. So as I was carrying on with my work, trying to give him space and hoping that by tonight we can have our normal upbeat conversation.. I get a text at about 3pm basically with Justin Beiber’s lyrics going ‘baby baby baby oo!!! baby baby xxx!’ That made me smile and basically I knew what he was trying to do. First of all, he just started working in this new surgery that is always busy, so texts during the day is out of the question and secondly, I usually send the normal have a great day text etc and if he has time between patients he replies, otherwise he calls me on his drive home or when he gets home. So when I got that text, I took it as an icebreaker. Lol, I didn’t even know how to reply. I just told him I loved him and that was it.
Having said that… our conversation in the evening was still a bit strained and when it gets like that, I am programmed to just say okay, I will speak to you later because I see no point staying on the phone if we are both going to keep quiet. He knows that is why I get off the phone but once again, he did the bigger thing of making conversation and asking questions etc. So with that I say I hate the ‘downs’ of relationships but hey – its all part of life. To think this is just a little bit of a tiff, I don’t pray for a hard marriage but I know there are bigger tiffs to come and I hope God will see us through them.
Now back to how great he is.. lol he baked me a cake! Yes you heard that right!! When I came down to London for the day for my friend’s wedding, we left the reception a bit early so we could chill for a couple of hours before I had to go to the airport. The thing is, I had been complaining that I missed nigerian food and I was tired of having take away every day with pizza and potatoes and pasta and I needed proper naija food. So the original plan was that after the wedding he would take me to this Nigerian restaurant and we would have a feast! However, when I got to his flat in the morning before we left for church, plans changed. He said okay since he has efo (vegetable soup), he would make pounded yam for me when we got back. As things will have it, we had a lovely nigerian meal at the wedding and obviously, as I am not a glutton, there was no way I was going to eat pounded yam when we got back to his so he decided to bake me an ‘exam cake’ instead. So I sat and ‘studied’ on the kitchen table while he baked away. An hour and a bit later, the cake was ready! I carried the hot cake with me in the car to the airport. He was worried the airport security won’t let me take it, but they did. I took a photo with my blackberry but my emails for some reason are no longer configured to my blackberry so I can’t email it to myself to put on the blog. Oh well.. all you need to know is the cake was yummy.
To summarise this blog.. I am sad that I have been silly and I know I am being silly and I should stop being silly but a screw is loose in my head and I am being silly! So I am hoping this moment will pass, I will stop being silly, and we will go back to being a ‘high couple’.
Final words – I love you DT, even when I am silly and moody and annoying… I still love you. I am imperfect and seriously working on me. xxx Angel