Hello 2012 / Wedding update
Let me start by wishing you all a happy new year. I hope (other than the strike in Nigeria), this new year has been splendid for you so far. For me, it has, I am sure you know why.
So my visit to Nigeria was really good. It was good spending quality time with my family and also spending quality time with my in-laws to be. My parents are happy so are his parents and siblings. My junior brother (baby of the house), reminded me that he remembers when I used to bed wet and now I am getting married! LOL imagine that, naughty boy. I guess for both of them and my close cousins it is like OMG she is getting all grown up! They will get used to it.
As you can imagine, everyone who has spoken to me since the engagement has just been talking about the wedding, they want to know the plans the this and the that. At some point I started thinking, I really want to talk about something else! Come on, give me some good gossip! I can’t keep talking about this, they will eventually get bored. I know some of my friends already don’t talk to me as much as they used to before the engagement. I was very certain that would never happen to me, but alas, I am human and so are they. The way my friends have accepted the news has been very mixed.
I will start with the woman race.
Very few Some of them have been great (this is amongst the women, the men couldn’t care less really, but I shall elaborate on this a bit more), some of them it comes across like what they are pleased about is the chance to sell me their services (don’t get me wrong, I am all for promoting yourselves and what you do etc), I just felt a bit overwhelmed when the first thing people said when they heard I was engaged is to list the services wedding related they could render me. Some where not even my friend on blackberry messenger added me to their bbm just to do this. I had at least 10 people say they were wedding planners. So now, if I am to choose a friend to be my wedding planner, which one of them would I choose?
Luckily, I have a policy where I do not want to use friends to help with anything, especially if I will be paying them for the service. If I am paying you, I want to be able to shout at you if I don’t like something or get mad at you and if you are a friend, this could ruin our friendship. What makes it even easier is the fact that because my final professional exam is in May and my wedding is a few months after that (yes we have fixed a date!), DT and my parents don’t want me to get too involved in the planning, they just want me to make decisions like the colours I want and sort out my dress and bridesmaids. So my mum and dad are sorting everything out. My dad went as far as saying when I was asking about getting a wedding planner… “you just face you books (:o, imagine that!), we will do the best we can for you, even if it means I will be your wedding planner..” I thought that was the sweetest thing ever.
So I am facing my books. I always knew as the first-born and only girl, I wouldn’t really have much of a say on my wedding planning, but my upcoming exams only gives them more of a valid reason for me not to have much of a say. I have accepted that as long as DT is present on that day and we say our “I dos” and get blessed by the vicar, I am good to go.
Now, for those who will be getting engaged in the future, especially the ladies, be weary of this other category of friends who just go MIA when they hear you are engaged. Some of them have no hard feelings what soever, but they feel like the have lost you to your fiance, they feel like they cannot be friends with you any more and you are now a different person to the pre engaged you so they stop talking you. It will take a few days to realise that, chill o, you haven’t heard from this babe in a while and when you confront her, she will be very open with why and you will assure her that you guys are friends and being engaged or married will not change that.
The others who you would normally expect to be there for you emotionally (yes you need a lot of support emotional, or maybe it is only me), will simply not be there! Imagine my shock! It will be a mixture of things of which they will not own up to, or they immediately turn on their defence mechanism and their way to deal with the situation is to point out everything that is wrong with every decision you have made. Just basically not available to you emotionally..only available to make you feel bad. Well, to make me feel bad because I am very emotional! Yes I said it, I am emotional! The thing here is, they may not even know they are doing this, but they are. Please stop!!
The guys on the other hand…. hahaha.. two of them read this blog.. you know yourselves “Mr I live in California” and “Mr I am a Lawyer”. It took Mr Cali a while to get used to the idea of me getting married. I was even nearly scared to tell him the news but I braced myself and gave him a call and obviously, he did not shriek down the phone in excitement. LOL. We eventually talked about it a couple of weeks later when it had sunk in for him. Now I am tasking him to planning my hen night, only that he doesn’t know what a hen night is! So back to my bridesmaids job.
Mr Lawyer… he like Mr Cali were in from the start, when I met DT etc. Mr Lawyer just can’t get his head around things really. He keeps saying he still can’t believe it.I always call him up at him when he is being sceptical and then he tries to amend his ways by changing his attitude but by then.. it is too late! LOL. I have told him he will cry at the wedding, he doesn’t believe me.
The other guys are either pleased or couldn’t care less, which works well for me.
Now, the bride’s maids!
Me being me, I wanted loads of my friends to be my bridesmaids but realistically, the 13 people I initially wanted on would have been too much. So I have compromised for 9 and we both have 1 person as back up. We are hoping not a lot of people drop out, obviously because it will be in Nigeria, there is the whole buying ticket to naija thing just for our wedding.. *sigh* which can be expensive. I have encouraged them to start buying their tickets if they can now at least it will be a bit cheaper than if they wait to buy. We have been encouraged a few times to change our wedding date by friends and to be honest, I find it a bit insensitive.
Most people know the kind of politics involved in setting the date in the first place, the number of people involved from both families and when we finally set it and booked the church and we were happy that this side of things is over, suggesting subtly or blatantly to change the dates for any reason is not fair on both of us. To be honest, I haven’t aired this view to those who have, I have just explained to them that we are aware not everyone would be able to come and we understand, no hard feelings, but changing the date is not an option.
Even if it is just both of us and our nuclear family, we will be more than pleased! By the grace of God, there will be many more celebrations in life which will be more convenient for people and which they will be able to attend. Plus, there will always be someone or people who the date is not convenient for. How do you decide who to please and who not to?
Finally, and most definitely not the least, my wedding dress!!!!
I found one I really like 2 weeks ago! I need to get my act together, book an appointment to try it on and if it looks as glamorous as it looked online then put down a deposit! How exciting! I hope it those and that would be one less thing to worry about.
So colours for both days have been picked.. lol very erm… interesting colours I must say but if the decorators get it right, it has utmost potential to be super amazing! Bride’s maids and grooms men have been informed and their cooperation noted. Chief bridesmaid and best man have also been informed. My dress is nearly picked and DT is going suit shopping soon…
The rest is over to my folks in Nigeria!
Hope it all goes well.
Anyway folks, have a lovely 2012!