You know how a tiny thought comes into your head, and you feed on this thought, as in, you keep thinking about different scenarios around this thought, or even, you conclude on it and fill in the blanks in between the tiny thought and the finished product, which is your conclusion of where the thought is leading. Okay, now I don’t know if I have make any sense.
This happens to me loads, I sense there is a 1% chance of something happening so I feed on that 1% till it seems like 110% in my head and go on carrying unnecessary burdens thinking about it and dwelling on it and been a drama queen about it, that by the time I realise I am just been silly, I have wasted weeks of my life!
This also reflects in issues as petty as say I “think” a guy I like likes me. I get excited prematurely and over process the whole thing that sometimes I conclude I can’t stand the guy before he even opens his mouth to say hello!! Obviously I can conclude equally that I am in love with him. This is not just for guys by the way, same applies for new people I meet, in terms of possible friendship. Crazy! It is like been overly optimistic with no valid fact to back it up.
I finally decided to put a stop to this last night and I tried to reason why this happens in the first place, but I really couldn’t come up with a reason. Could it be because I am bored and need some sort of excitement, I just want to make up stories in my head to keep me occupied? I don’t think so because I am busy enough for that to be the reason.
Having said all of the above, my been optimistic also has its positives. It keeps me sane in this crazy world, filled with negatives. The news channels are swarming with negative news, and then I think of my bank account and how hard I work and the fact that as the money is going in, it is getting taxed and going out at the same time and I barely have anything to show for it. That alone in itself is depressing. So many negatives I can think of that I would rather not remember now, so I guess having a super imaginative mostly positive mind is not a bad thing. But I have to keep it in check.
With this I say ta… xxx