Angelsbeauty's Blog

…. what's next on my random mind?….

Archive for the tag “family”

“You are too picky”

Unfortunately for you all, most of my blogs are going to be about my experiences as a single lady. So sit back, relax and enjoy.

Nothing annoys me more than people saying the reason I am single is because I am too picky. As if! I don’t even have a checklist for my ideal guy! I am not yet sure what I think about that. People say it is good so that you know what you want when you see it but at the same time I feel like I would be objectifying the man.

Each time I am catching up with a cousin or a friend, especially guys and they ask me about my love life and ask  if I am currently seeing any one at the moment. My answer of course is always “no”, which prompts an immediate response of either “..well that is because you are too picky”, or “..your standards are too high”. The reason this annoys me is because not once as any of them ask me what my standards are.

Now, another question they ask me which I often wonder whether it is a rhetorical question is the good old “why are you single?”. I say to myself,  if I could answer that question I won’t be single now would I?

So I went for a singles seminar the other weekend (people tend to this these kind of seminars are for desperate people or a kind of speed dating event, but it is truly the contrary. I have learnt a lot from them) and lets just say it came along at the right time in my life. I have learnt to see my single-hood as a gift. Well,I am still human which means I will still complain now and again but since the seminar which was about 3 weeks ago, I feel like I have a new purpose. Rather than waste my time thinking why guys who are clearly not within my ‘standard’ act the way they do, I am focusing on building myself and making the maximum use of all the time I have in my hands now that I wouldn’t have when I get into a healthy and blessed relationship :). Also, there was this lady there that shared her experience of divorce with us, which was the first time I have heard the story of a divorce from the horses mouth. It was very insightful.

On another note, I have spent 80% of my day today reading blogs!!!!! How crazy is that. I have a very important exam in 3 weeks and I am wasting a lovely saturday like this doing nothing but having my own kind of fun! I need to sort my brain out!

Until next time…. could be very soon… who knows?

“Friendship” …. a full time job pt 1

It may seem as if I always talk about myself, but the truth is the only person I can talk about in truth and in enough detail to nearly 100% accuracy is myself, so bare with me.

"..I'll be there...."I cherish and value friendship so much even my family sometimes think I love my friends more than my family, that is how bad it is. I have been in so many different kinds of friendships, some are still existing, some hanging by a thread and some long gone and still I am told I have too many friends. That one i agree with, its hard to keep in touch with everyone, but I try.

I am a strong believer in not writing off any source of new friendship because you think you already have enough friends or you think you don’t have enough in common with the person. Here is why, if you only make friends with those you have something in common with, there will be a time where those friends will not be available or a time where you would be going through some issues those friends cannot relate to.

My motto is make friends sensibly with whoever really. I don’t wake up each morning thinking… I must make a new friend today but I am open to whoever wants to be my friend. Let me rephrase, I am approachable to whoever wants to be my friend.  I am also not saying to tell every tom dick and harry your most intimate secrets.  Start off by speaking to them, source them out, decide what category of friends they fall into, and then you then decide how much of your life you are willing to share with them.

In another context, there are friends that will rely on you emotionally and others who you will rely on emotionally, the world is round after all. There are friends who are always negative and those who are positive and those who have their days. You don’t have to pick and choose, just make sure you are prepared for whatever comes your way. If you have some negative friends, make sure you have a way to replenish yourself after conversing with them, try to be as positive as possible to them because they need you to be positive for them. After all everyone has their role to play in this world.

It is very important not to forget yourself in all of this. Find some “you” time otherwise you’ll end up cranky and eventually loose yourself. Another good reason to have a variety of friends. From my experience it is useful to take a break from one group of friends and spend the time with another group of friends. This helps you appreciate what you have in one set that you don’t have in another. It helps put things in perspective. At the same time it is essential to make sure that some friends don’t feel inferior to others. Easier said than done right, but with practice, it’ll be next to breathing.

I have too much to say about friendship and I am sure I am not articulating myself well enough, but this will have to be continued some other day. To end this, a “friend” did something to me the other day that made me think about this: “Who do you go to when life is gray, still and everything seems to go down hill and who do you go to when you are in your prime, when you are happy, when things seem to be perfect“. When you think about it, are you going to the same people? I personally think it is only fair for you to share your happiness with those who shared your sadness with you.

Have a good night.

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