I find that my heart constantly aches for the love underdog, hence this blog. Romantic comedies / romantic movies have made it acceptable for there to be love underdogs; even the books (novels) we read do the same. It got me to thinking, maybe that is how the majority of the masses minds work.
So who am I referring to as a ‘love underdog’?
I am referring to the guy who is loving and caring and is willing to go to the end of the world for his wife or girlfriend or even his friend, and what he gets in return is, “I am sorry, I am in love with someone else”. At least that is even better, some of them don’t even get an explanation, their hearts just get broken.
Now, why is he an underdog? From my point of view, he is taken for granted, or in certain situations where he has offered up the rest of his life for his girlfriend willingly, unknowing to him, she has a backup plan. This mostly means she is only with him out of convenience and waiting for someone better to come up. In some cases, she believes she is in love with him and he is all she has ever dreamed and hoped. This all changes when she meets someone she considers better, he could be a new guy or someone from her past. Let’s take an example of someone from her past. Even after spending say 5years with this love underdog, she meets someone she hasn’t seen in 10 years and isn’t even sure if he is still the same person she knew that many years ago or if he has changed or if he has habits that she would rather not know off. Nevertheless, things start to change in her relationship with the underdog. She suddenly realizes, actually, I don’t have to stick with the love underdog, after all we are not married and there is nothing tying me down to him (if the person is not married), or if married it could be that she all of a sudden remembers their marriage is boring.
After spending so much time with the new guy in a short period of time, her mind is on a one way road, she is then automatically believes she likes him and then they kiss (which is what she has been wanting anyway) and next thing is, the guilt kicks in for majority of people and others just don’t care. This either triggers the breakup, or reminds her she is making a mistake.
Now my love underdog is affected in two situations, the first is when he finds out about the cheating or kissing or cheating emotionally and the second is if a divorce or breakup happens. Let me give you a scenario, say for example, I have been dating this guy for like 5 years and then he breaks up with me and I am very torn and depressed. It takes me say, a year to get over him and then this new guy comes my way, and he is nice to me. Even when I tell him I never want to see a guy again, he stays on, he doesn’t pressurize me, he is just pretty much my knight in shining armor, just what I needed at the point in time and possibly and most likely someone I should invest more of my time with to see if we can spend the rest of our lives together, if that is on the cards for me. 2 years down the line, the first guy, that broke my heart and left me, comes back into the picture. He knows how to talk his way back into my heart. I had told myself many times I will not let this happen and rehearsed this exact scene over and over in my head, but it is happening now and I just can’t seem to make it go away. Before you know it, his lips are on mine and I forget about my knight in shining armor for a second. When I remember him, instead of remembering for how lovely he is and sweet and how he stood by me, I start remembering him as an obstacle to what I have just experienced.
The poor ‘knight in shining armor’ has done nothing wrong whatsoever, the only mistake he made was falling in love with the wrong person. That’s how I see it anyway. I am not saying this always happens, and to be fair, if the relationship between you and ‘the knight’ is clearly not working then yea, fair dos. But don’t drag someone who is willing to be there for you in the mud or make him your plan B if all else don’t work.
This really frustrates me in movies, even when I really enjoy the movie, the whole happily ever after, the two people we wanted to get together got together, but at whose expense? Yup, you got it, the love underdog’s.
For example, ‘Made of honor’, even though the Scottish guy was a jerk, I mean come on, what is the big deal in sharing your food with your fiancée. His heart was broken and I felt sorry for him. How about in ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ she runs away from her husband right, to the city, meets this hot guy and if I remember correctly, they got engaged, then she decides to go back home and yes, you got it right, fell back in love with her husband, leaving once again the love underdog to fend for himself and nurse his broken heart. Most recently, Sex and the City 2, this case is not as extreme as the others I know of, but come on, Carrie kissing Aidan!!! Why?! I loved Carrie and Aidan and wanted them to be together, but things didn’t work out, she is married to Big so why does she then kiss Aidan! I am impressed she told the truth but at the same time, she hurt Big, big time (I am aware I have used big so many times in the same sentence lol).
What am I saying exactly? If you read this, and have a love underdog in your life, don’t break his heart, or if you have broken his heart already, let him be the last. If you don’t know if this applies to you, think about the men in your life and imagine yourself in their shoes and imagine your plans for them were their plans for you. Good, now at the end of the plan, are you happy and smiling or crying and sad? There’s you answer. If a relationship is not working all well and good end it but not because of another man! No man is worth it!
Have a lovely day 🙂