Do you know what I really want?

What I really want is a friend! Not just a friend that says hello and is always there for a chat, but a friend that is a true friend. One that truly cares you know! I am bad at explaining things I am passionate about which doesn’t really help.

What I mean is this. Something that means a lot to you, I mean something that seems so little to other people but to you it is the world, you are so proud of this thing and you just want to share it with someone. But you just know deep down inside you that there is really no one around you that can understand how much passion you feel for this thing. People try, but to be honest, if you don’t truly care about something it is hard to be as passionate or as happy as the person who is sharing the news. For this reason you end up keeping these thing you just want to share with someone and have them be as happy as you are about it! It sucks, trust me!

Don’t get me wrong, I have some amazing friends who I share my joys and sadness with, but this piece of the puzzle is missing and I have more or less given up on searching for this friend. My last chance really now is my husband.. when he eventually arrives. I guess I would hope for him to be interested in my highs and lows a lot more than a friend.

Okay so  I have been an emotional wreck today! Crazy but I have no idea why… but yea… I”ll keep the tears rolling till I fall asleep…. maybe I’ll feel better.  And no… its not what you think… just been sat here watching chic flicks.. and the happy scenes make me cry.. lol like watching 27 dresses, the scene where she finally got married made me cry. Watching ‘In her shoes’ loads of scenes made me well up.. lol at least its not anything horrible making me cry. Iits way past my bed time, got work and an extremely long day tomorrow so good night :).

8:00 am

How annoying is this! I spent most of friday night / early morning trying to fall asleep and then I finally slept off at about 2 30am and then my silly body clock goes and makes me up at 8:00am on a saturday morning! To top it off I had a rude awakening as well, woke up to some text from someone that pissed me off! I hate been small spoken to!

So I decided to stroll to the stores, pick up some eggs and banana and make a banana loaf cake. I was a bit skeptical because, well like I said in my previous blogs, I am not very good at baking but I found out one day that a banana loaf cake is the closest I have gotten to baking a cake that looks like a cake. So I decided to keep baking banana loaf cakes until I am perfect at it. To my utmost surprise, it was beautiful! Very very moist, only problem was the top of the cake was ugly lol but the crust delicious. I saved some in the fridge, after eating half of it, thinking, it would go hard by the next day, because for some reason that is what happens to my baked goods, but no it didn’t grow hard! I was so happy. I feel like I now know how to bake a cake :). I am going to keep on baking that particular cake, till I can do it without a recipe and yes, you’ll be the first to know when that day comes. Because the cake tasted so good and I was so sure if I left it in my fridge I would eat it all, BY MYSELF, I decided to take the other half to church and they loved it!!

For now, I am taking a break from bananas and giving a marble cake a go this week. I step out of my comfort zone as the last time I tried baking a marble cake, it collapsed in the oven! Driving up to the coast with friends so if it turns out nice, it would be lovely to have something to gnaw on in the car. Will let you know how that turns out, maybe even some pictures if I am feeling brave :).

Yikes! I have 15 minutes to shower get dress… no makeup and walk up to catch the train to work!!! Have a great morning.

Confessions of a happy workaholic!

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My idea of an ideal day is a day where I have been so busy that time just passes by; hence why my last 3 days have been amazing so far. I am so exhausted because I have been so busy at work, like really busy and I thrive in it. If I could drive, I would probably spend more time at work but as there is just one train in an hour, its not really ideal.

In as much as I love to be busy, I am not doing some vital things i should be doing, like studying for my professional exams. I just can’t be bothered and I know it is not the right attitude to have but this week at work promises to be crazy, so my excuse this time is I need a break. My head keeps aching from the amount of information I have to process in a day, you know how you crack your fingers, that’s how I wish I could crack my head, just for some relief. Having said that, its good to know it is short lived and life should go back to normal next week for sometime.

I actually love my job, people say accountants are boring, but I beg to differ. Especially working for my company, I don’t think I would find better anywhere else. I am just so happy where I am with the prospects of career progression, learning from the best people and just having a good life and work balance. It’s quite funny because so many times I want to stay behind and work and either my manager, assistant manager or fellow colleagues keep chasing me out of the office after 5pm. From speaking to friends and my past experience, this is rarely the case.

So my challenge at the moment is, staying busy at work, delivering good pieces of work assigned to me, learning as much as I can on the job and then finding time to read around to see what knowledge I can add to my already existing one. Sometimes I just wish I knew it all and I could just go ahead and do a fabulous job with very little help. I can’t wait for that day, it would bring me great joy! I sound like a freak don’t I? I just love been useful.

Some days I wake up in the morning tired, but what gets me off my bed is my worry of how they would get on without me if I called in sick because I feel awful. I just feel like, I have so much to do I haven’t done, and I haven’t passed it on with sufficient instructions for someone else to carry on in my absence. I know the world and the office will survive in my absence, but it just gives me a sense of importance. Keeps me going I guess. Let’s see if this is the same in a couple of years time.

With that, I go to rest my head in a tub of icecream, maybe it would chill my brain.

xxx